Whaaa?

Uh. Heaven help me. Harry's a Hottie.

(source: Tim Hailand )

More from the Frontlines

Student: When I grow up I wanna have a pet monkey.

Me: My mom's uncle had a pet monkey he kept in the garage. I think it was kinda mean.

Student: Really? He kept it in the garage?

Me: Yeah, but I never got to see it.

Student: Well, I won't keep my pet monkey in the garage.

Me: Monkey's don't always make very good pets.

Student: Oh, mine will. I'm going to teach it how to roll joints for me.

Me: ....

From the Frontlines

Student: "Ummmmmm.....I love pork rinds."

Me: "Huh. I'm not really a fan of pork rinds. Fried pigskin, bleh."

Student: "Oh. I love them. And did you know that if you eat them, you'll sleepwalk?"

Me: "Really? That's not something I've ever heard before."

Student: "Totally. It's totally true. You should try it sometime."

Me: "You have some interesting things to share sometimes. Thanks."

Old Lady

That's me.

Know how I know? Because I've been wearing my new shoes all day. I'm very happy with my new, comfortable shoes. My feet feel really happy. I don't ever remember being this happy about a new pair of shoes since I was about 5 and my mom took me to the shoe store in Elgin where there was a Buster Brown tree in the store. OH! And she used to take me to Malone's in DeKalb. They had cool stairs.

Also, I'm really happy about our new garage door and garage door opener. We seem to open and close our garage door much more frequently these days.

I think I'm going to go outside in my new shoes and open and close the new garage door...BRB.

Dear Loud People

As much as I enjoy eavesdropping, it's hardly fun when you're yelling to your friend. I enjoyed you, Mr. Famous Footwear Manager telling your employee about how much soap to put in the bucket when mopping the back room. I also liked the comparisons you made between the tile on the "showroom" floor to the tile in the back room. Thanks. I feel like I really got to know you better.

"Funny" Guy at Kroger, you are very charming and witty. We all know that because of how loudly you told all your cute and funny jokes to your girlfriend. It was very charming and now we all know how lucky that lady is to have you!

Cute Cellphone Girls at the Mall, you...much like "Funny" Guy at Kroger...are clearly very cute and funny. I know this because as you walk slowly through the mall, you twirl your hair and talk really cute baby talk on the cell phone.

Sheesh.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sort of.

Nahhh....it's been a great day!

But I do believe that I've come to the point in my life where it's pretty much just another day.

We were going to go out to dinner, but I nothing was really 'grabbing me' and as I drove home from work, I decided that I'd really rather stay home and cook. I like cooking and find it pretty relaxing, so there ya go.

It just so happens that a couple boys at school share my birthday with me. One of them came into my room on Tuesday and asked me what I was going to "bring" to school as a treat on my birthday. I told him I hadn't really planned on anything and asked him what he was going to do...he said he was bringing CUPCAKES (he was kinda excited)! Then he suggested I bring some juice. Totally cracked me up. But I stopped at Kroger on my way to work and got us some fruit punch and orange drink. That's what you're supposed to drink with cupcakes, right?

Of course, as soon as he got to school, this student came in my room and asked if I remembered to bring juice, because he'd brought 3 KINDS OF CUPCAKES! Chocolate with chocolate frosting, lemon with lemon frosting and white with white frosting. He was VERY excited about the cupcakes.

The best part is that while I'm celebrating my 41st, this kid - excited about cupcakes and juice - is celebrating his 18th! I hope he never loses his enthusiasm for cupcakes.

My husband also sent me flowers at work. He's probably only done this 3 or 4 times in 16 years of marriage because he knows I'm not crazy about flowers (I like them, but they've kind seemed frivolous to me). Each time he's done it, it's been a huge surprise and lots of fun. This year he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him nothing...don't buy me anything, I can't think of anything. And I really meant it!

So, the card on the flowers read:

"These are not for your birthday"

and that's it!

He knows me so well.

Friend School

Is there such a thing? If there is, I'd like to enroll myself. I, obviously, haven't the first clue about how to be a good friend. I continue to fail at being a true friend. I think I need to have someone objectively evaluate my interpersonal skills, I didn't think I was doing that bad, but it's come to my attention that I'm mistaken.

Granted, I've never had lots of girl friends...never been one to be part of a big gaggle of girls. I feel more comfortable with a few close friends. Now, I know I can't be a completely intolerable person...I'm still very close with the first friend I made on my dorm floor in 1986. My other long-term friendship is with the wife of one of Mr. Rix's closest friend...we've been tight since the early 90's.

I've also been married for almost 16 years. Granted, my husband is a hugely tolerant man...but still, I must have SOME redeeming qualities.

But it's evident to me that I need some pointers on how to meet the needs of my friends so that they will understand how much I value their friendship and appreciate their presence in my life.

If you have the number of a good Friend School, lemme know.