Enjoyment vs. Appeasement

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was a lovely long weekend spent with in-laws and in-laws of in-laws but everyone survived. It was not the holiday we had originally planned but fun none-the-less.

And today I find myself in a crabby mood. Actually, the crab encroached last night just before I went to bed. My parents went MIA for Thanksgiving and I got word on Sunday that they were headed back home. This got me thinking of the weeks to come and planning for Christmas. Which seemed to aggravate me.

Typically my family (parents and siblings) do our Christmas on Christmas Eve. Mr. Rix's family does theirs on Christmas Day. My parents and his sister live about 2 or so hours away (by way of much traffic) so we often do my parents' and then head to his sister's.

This year is no different. However, Mr. Rix has to work till 4:30 on Christmas Eve. This means the boys and I will pack and wait for him to get home, hop in the car and drive 2 hours to my folks. There we will celebrate and open presents. Then go to bed. Then get up, re-pack, load the car and drive to his sister's house. Where we will celebrate and open presents. Then we will go to bed. Then we will have to get up and drive 3 hours so that Mr. Rix can be back in town to go to work at 2:30.

Sounds like a blast, huh? Yeah. Not so much.

Why am I doing this? Why am I putting my family through this? Mr. Rix took the day after Thanksgiving off in the hopes that we'd have a relaxing long weekend with both my family and his...we were able to spend time with his but my folks made other plans. So why the fuck am I going to bust my ass for all this?

It's certainly not enjoyable. Spending time with my siblings is enjoyable, but really, one of my sister's will have to leave to go to her in-law's family's house and my brother will probably leave to go hang out at a bar with his friends after dinner. So, what gives?

We have done this for so many years simply to appease people. And you know what? I'm done. I'm so over the chaos and insanity.

I dread the run up to the holiday because I never get done what I want to get done, I feel inadequate and it all goes by in a blur. I feel like I don't get to enjoy my own family. My children. They just get one set of gifts open and we have to shove them away and head off to the next house. Well, I don't want to do that this year. I want to have a nice, relaxing Christmas at MY house with MY family. I want my kids to wake up leisurely on Christmas and enjoy their gifts. We have cut back over the years and the gift giving in minimal...which is great.

I want to make dinner MY way. I want to make cookies and rent the movies WE want to see. I want to pull the couch up to a bed and lay around watching the boys enjoy what is sure to be a well-received gift. No more doing this crap just cuz it's what my mother wants. I'll save that for Thanksgiving and Easter...I'll do what they want. For now? I'm officially reclaiming Christmas for my own family.

Of course, I haven't shared my enlightenment with my husband or my Mother (or HIS mother). I'll let you know how it goes over.