Saturday, August 15, 2009


I'm setting some. Again. Sheesh. It seems I have some difficulties with establishing boundaries, maintaining boundaries and respecting other people's boundaries.

So, I'm going to spend this fall redefining what's acceptable and allowable and what's not. I'm a horribly emotional and reactive person. I'm passionate about things and my passion often clouds my judgement and prevents me from being objective. This is especially true when it come to politics, my kids, my family and my career.

I'm not always very good a agreeing to disagree and I often get bullheaded in the hopes that my "adversary" will just relent. I'm not proud of this behavior but it's a habit. I'm going to work on that. And it coincides with one of my boundaries. There's not much point arguing or debating with anyone who isn't interested in hearing the other side or actually researching their position. It's often easy to figure out in a discussion if a person falls into that catagory or doesn't. So, I'm going to stop banging my head against a wall and just not discuss those things with folks I meet who aren't open to a dialogue that includes facts and rational reasoning (and yes, I understand that this is completely subjective on my part, but it's my boundary, I get to be subjective).

I enjoy my job very much. But I have a terrible habit of getting over-invested in my students. Just can't do that anymore, either. I'm going to have to leave work stuff at work this year. Obviously that's the nature of education. I've yet to meet a good teacher who DOESN'T get emotionally invested...especially with the types of students I've worked with all through my career.

This kind of thing is what made me eager to leave the profession for nearly 10 years. I didn't think I could be emotionally present for my students and equally emotionally present for my own children. I thought I'd prefer not teaching. Now I know that's not true. It's not teaching that wipes me out, it's the 'other stuff' that gets to me. So, I'm out. I'm going to make a concerted effort to leave my student's issues and work stuff at work so that I can be totally present and available for my OWN family. Shees....I have an 8th grader! Before I know it, he'll be out the door and I'll be a blubbery mess.

Maintaining these boundaries is gonna be tricky. But for my own sanity, it's gotta happen. And my friends know how little sanity there actually IS in my head so I'm sure they'll appreciate any that I'm able to salvage!


Ramble On said...

Hopefully you will let some of us know what those boundaries are and develop some sort of signal or code word we can use to help you stick within them. Good luck. New habits are hard to form and take a lot of practice. I wish you peace of mind as you go along this journey.

EmergePeoria said...

I wish you the best.

Алёна said...

+1 за такой комент)))

Тамара said...

Кажется, это подойдет.

Коля said...

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