Tuesday, May 19, 2009


So, #2 received some cash and some gift cards for his birthday and is lobbying for a Nintendo DSi or PSP. Neither Mr. Rix or myself approves of this expenditure. We've also been getting quite tired of the whining and badgering and insisting that "it's MY MONEY." To shut him up, we told him to write a 1,000 word essay on why he should have a PSP.

He spent almost 3 days writing his plea. It's quite compelling. I've decided to share some of it here...

1000 word essay on why I should be allowed to buy a PSP

By [#2]

I think I should be able to buy a PSP because it could help me with my homework because I could look up stuff on the internet.

PSPs also have most of the DS games and many, many more! Having a PSP wouldn’t be just having another gaming system but it would be like having another computer so Sam could have our computer.

PSPs also can play movies so in CJHS on fieldtrips I could watch movies. I should be able to buy a PSP because it is my own hard earned cash. I know you think I am not going to take the time to Write this essay, but I am because the PSP that I can afford is the PSP 3000 the newest version. PSPs have a good name Play Station Portable because that’s exactly what it is, a Portable Play Station that you can carry in your pocket!

If I had a PSP I could check my E-Mail without pestering and asking “Why?” so many times.

I really don’t know why you guys won’t let me get a PSP, because it would be an advantage for you cause’ you would not have to put up with me half as much as you do now. (I would be playing it a lot!) I would love it so much!

I would practice guitar for like 5 hours because I could search for tabs a lot. If I need some sort of book I could just go onto Barns and Noble’s website on the PSP and order it.

Having a PSP would help my reading, literature, and hand eye coordination. If I talked to someone I know and is my friend I could invite them here at our house. If I needed to send Noah an E-Mail about his party I just pick up the PSP send him the message.

If I got Star Wars Battlefront: renegade Squadron and went onto Skype, me and Evan could talk and pwn newbs at the same time!

Remember how I said if I got a PSP Sam could get the computer? Well if I got a PSP and Sam got the computer I would not have to ask and pester you about kicking Sam off the computer and Sam saying “Why?” And I say “Because you’ve been on for an hour!” And you say “Okay neither of you can get on so Sam, GET OFF!!!!!” No more of that! It would be a win, win, win!

I mean seriously why would you turn down that offer?! Why won’t you let me get a PSP? First off, it’s my money. Second it would be a win for you guys. And finally, I have put in all my effort into an essay with 1000 words and an essay with like literally 60 signatures. (IF YOU WON’T LET ME GET A PSP I WILL BE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!) Also if you E-Mail me you can just say, “E-Mail!” and I check My E-Mail and see your message then follow your directions.

If I get a PSP I could and would let mom borrow it if she is going somewhere far away to watch movies. (It is easy to control!) Another reason is I want to fit in because at least 3/4ths of Bolin School (over 200 kids) have a PSP that’s 75% of 200 kids!

you know Dad I bet if I could find a free trial of World of War Craft on the internet you would want to play the PSP, right? I know what you’re saying you’re saying “No I don’t!” But I also know what you’re thinking also, you are thinking, “OMG!! I need a PSP!!!!” don’t say you are not cause’ I know it’s true!

On the sketch star thing I could make you an animation of us driving to game stop and me getting a PSP on the PSP! But if I don’t get one I would make an animation of me sobbing above the clouds making 100 natural disasters and I would literally “cry you a river”.

If Mom wanted a recipe than all I would have to do is Google it and ping! You’ve got it! I hope you acknowledge what I said and allow me to get a PSP.

So there it is. He did a great job of hitting all the angles...


MiddleAgedWomanBlogging said...

I believe this child is deserving!! I'm rooting for him!

Ms. PH said...

See - this is what you get for raising smart children.

I think the most compelling argument is that he and his friend can "pwn newbs." How can you possibly not be swayed into promoting your child's ability to pwn newbs? Pwning newbs is the most important thing in the world.

I have no idea what pwn newbs means. It's just fun to say.

rixie said...

Yes, I agree it's a very compelling essay. And pwn newbs is pronounced "P-own New-bs".

The best was when he handed me the handwritten essay and I said "I don't accept handwritten essays. Type it up." And he did. In about 20 minutes.

Mary said...

I agree, it is a compelling essay. And at least he is wanting to spend his own money on it, not asking you to buy it for him. Good luck!

Brick said...

Wow, after reading the essay, I realize there's very little a PSP can't do. It's a miracle box!

OMG, let the kid get the thing, so that he can watch movies, check his email, and practice guitar, all while talking to his friend and pwning newbs FTW - otherwise he'll have a legit claim for parental FAIL!

Jennifer said...

I did't even know what a PSP was, but now I want one, too. Very convincing. And I'd be the coolest mom in Princeville if I could pwn newbs.

EmergePeoria said...

I was sold until he said this:

"...I want to fit in..."

peer pressure much? Damn PSP!

Mahkno said...

PSP is lame.

cjay said...