14 Years

As of 11:30 today, December 18th my husband and I have been married for 14 years.

14 Years!

That's a long fucking time! That's the longest I've ever stuck with anything. I've only been a mom for 11 years (12 in February). I HAVE had a best friend for 21 years, though. This is us:



(That's me on the right with #2 son) But I don't think that counts. We never lived together, we knew better than to mess the relationship up by living together!

So, this is a sappy, smooshy, retrospective about the man who is my man.

We met at the Pizza Villa in DeKalb in 1991. We met then...that doesn't mean that we actually gave each other the time of day. But we were working at the same place which led to all this...

Yeah, sure, he's handsome and all. And he has a really cute hinder (that's Wisconsin-speak for butt).

We used to watch Northern Exposure together and romanticize about moving to Alaska together - when everyone else we knew wanted to move to the beach (even though the show was filmed in the NW).

To an old boyfriend he said "Why don't you just fuck off?" and said boyfriend took one look at my man and decided to do just that.

When we first started dating, it was really cold. And he didn't have a car. But he used to walk to my house and bring me a chocolate malt. He remember that I liked chocolate malts more than chocolate shakes.

In 1988 I said that the man I married would sing "Crazy Love" to me. I thought it was a Brian Ferry song (from the "She's Having a Baby" soundtrack). In 1992 I met my man; a month after we met he played a Van Morrison CD with Crazy Love on it and knew every word of that song.

He met me during a time when I was estranged from my family. At the time I missed my teenage siblings terribly (I'm 9, 10, and 12 years older than them), he convinced me to go home and see them. Then after he met my parents, he told me that maybe he was wrong. Prophetic.

I taught Deaf kids for years. He learned sign language so that he could talk to them when I brought them home with me. Unfortunately, I taught him some sign language slang that he still likes to toss my way at parties.

When we first started dating, he hugged me and said "Your soooo small". He held me close and said "You smell like incense". After our kids were born, he still said those things. When I lost all that weight, he said those things. I've gained it back and he still says those things.

When my boys smart off to me he says "Don't you talk to your mother that way".

He takes the garbage out.

He picks the nasty, hairball/soapy/icky mess out of the bathtub drain.

He cleans my cat's litter box when I forget to. (I have bad allergies and my sniffer is broken).

We work opposite shifts. I work 7:45-2...he works 2:20-11:00. He still calls me twice a day...once before supper (to check in with me and the boys) and once after he knows the boys are in bed, to tell me goodnight. I call him during my planning period in the morning and at lunch time. It takes all of :30.

When I'm not home, he sleeps with the light on in our bedroom. When he's not home, I make the boys sleep with me.

Those are just the silly things. That doesn't touch the mountain of bullshit we've gone through together.

Anyone who has gotten to know me in my real life would be very surprised to hear me say that thinking about my husband's devotion to me and my devotion to him actually makes me weep.

14 years. It's been a lifetime and the blink of an eye.

I love you.