Girl Bleeder

Bullies

2012-01-21T17:32:00.003-06:00

School bullying is a problem, to be sure. It's always been a problem and I'm grateful for the attention and action that the issue has been paid.

I've been on the receiving end of a bully or two - I was a band nerd, wore braces and was on the speech team for god sake. I taught Deaf and Hard of Hearing kids for many years and helped my special education students confront peers (and their parents)after having been bullied. And I have two children with hemophilia. I may not be an expert on the finer points of assholes, but I've certainly navigated (and helped others navigate) the terrain.

What concerns me is this over-saturation and use of the term among adults to describe interactions with other adults. Otherwise normally functioning adults. (As opposed to spousal abuse, neighbors intimidating other neighbors, phone harassment, etc...)

Obviously there are adults who attempt to use bullying tactics, coercion, intimidation and aggression as a means to and end. However, I think adults need to be very cautious when using such language against one another; it dilutes the severity of true bullying and harassment, especially among school age children.

In researching the definition of bullying I've found the term to include: "To use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants" (wiki) and "the act of being habitually cruel to others who are weaker". (Meriam Webster)

There it is. Bullying, by definition, means that one person is exerting power/strength/coercion, etc.... (physical, mental, emotional) to intimidate another.

I can think of several scenarios where this can happen between adults. Certainly.

Bully...bullying...bullied...it's become a buzz-word. We are all hyper-vigilant and sensitive to the issue. As such, invoking the word instills fear and defensiveness.

Piss off a coworker? Tell her she pissed you off? You're a bully.
Exclude a coworker in an after-work event? You're a bully.
Disagree vocally with a co-worker? Bully.
Share concerns about one co-worker with another co-worker? Stop bullying.

Adult disagreements have become a minefield, especially in the work place! After all, if I accuse someone of bullying me and my superiors do nothing to remedy the situation, I might sue them. But just because I've tossed that accusation out there, doesn't make it true.

There are quite a few people who might not play well with others. We may be abrasive. We may even lack tact and finesse. Some of us may wear our hearts on our sleeves and be rather opinionated. Our boundaries might be a bit fluid.

This does not mean we are malicious or have ill intent. Many of us are all too aware of our character flaws and that is why we may come off as 'prickly' or 'aloof'...better to keep folks at arm's length lest we be misunderstood. Some of us may even try to apologize when we realize that we have (yet again) inflicted hurt or caused misunderstanding.

Bandying about the word "bullying" makes us ALL less sensitive to those who are truly being victimized.

Not to mention the fact that calling someone you don't get along with or disagree with a bully gets in the way of you putting on your big girl panties, throwing down a shot of Jack and getting over your damn self.

You Suck

2012-01-13T00:45:00.003-06:00

That's all I can say sometimes.

You suck as a person, you suck as a co-worker, your probably suck as a friend.

How is it possible that you can suck the life, spirit, and drive out of kids who've already been through more than you can begin to fathom.

Shame on you.

What's worse?

It's worse that you don't even know how much you suck.

(That did feel pretty good)

Writing

2012-01-08T14:50:00.002-06:00

I need to start again. Too many thoughts stuck in my brain.

I've avoided writing because locally I'm not anonymous. How can I bitch about work when I know there are people who know where I work? How can I bitch about family when some of them know I blog? How can I be candid about personal stuff when the 4 people who read my blog who know how to find me?

I guess that's the price I'm going to have to pay for being famous. And maybe that's my problem. To assume that my words are read or intended for an audience defeats my purpose. Ego. Pride. Boo me.

As I sort through my thoughts today in an attempt to get back to writing for the joy of writing and the release I feel when I to a verbal vomit, I come back to my disappointment in myself.

There have been so many hemophilia related issues over the last couple years that I haven't shared. I've had issues related to my own hemophilia that I haven't shared. My kids have hurdled several milestones (hemophilia and otherwise) that I haven't shared. I've read some great books and met amazing people across the country. I've neglected important personal relationships.

I've neglected myself. My writing. My health. My profession. My friends.

Re-Tooling

2011-04-02T20:57:00.002-05:00

[here's where we pretend I've been actively blogging for the last 6 months. Work with me. Some of what I write may be redundant. Too bad...I'm too lazy to go back and read what I wrote a year ago.]

A year ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease(hypothyroidism)and as a result of a sleep study was prescribed a CPAP. Probably that's why I've neglected my blog...I've become so perky, outgoing, and well-rested that my need to purge my innards blogwise diminished.

Kinda true, kinda not. I AM sleeping better than I've ever slept...I used to blog late at night when I couldn't sleep and my thoughts and worries were all a-twitter. Now I seem to sleep really well. And I have the most amazing and vivid dreams.

I guess people have these kinds of dreams all the time and don't give them a second thought. They wake in the morning and say "Wow! That was a fucked up dream! Too fun!" This must be a luxury of the "Chosen Sleepers" who have always slept well. To wake in the morning and laugh about their dreams....

"Hey I had the craziest dream last night! I was eating chili-cheese fries in the middle of my street and then Screetch showed up in a jacked up Escalade and took me to play Black Jack with Holly (Heff's former girlfriend) in Fort Wayne, Indiana."

Maybe everyone else is used to having those sorts of dreams. I AM NOT.

Rabbit-Hole

2010-10-05T20:12:00.005-05:00

So, I take back my initial feelings about leaving the classroom. The more time I spend in the office of my school - right now I'm doing sort of double duty, teaching my assigned classes as well as helping in the office during my planning period and after students have left the building - the more I'm looking forward to not being in the classroom. I'm remembering all the reasons I enjoy being part of the school with out the encumbrance of being a teacher.

One thing I didn't count on was working through the benefits package I've been offered as a full time employee. On the outset, it seems great. $90 per month for family coverage? Holy shit. That's awesome.

Maybe I know too much. Maybe I don't know a good thing when it bites me in the ass (Mr. Rix could attest to that). I know enough to ask a crap ton of questions and that's where I got myself into trouble.

It all started when I got the initial information about the plan; $3M lifetime max and a 12 month waiting period for pre-existing conditions. I asked, then, how the recent healthcare reforms would change those to issues. The H.R. person suggested I contact Risk Benefit Management. For brevity, I'll refer to my Risk Benefit Management person as "A".

I emailed "A" to ask about the changes. At that point I was told that, yes, the policy would change and there will be no cap on the policy and no pre-existing clause for dependents 19 and under living at home.

I had also been told that the family premium for insurance would be $80 per month. With a $10 increase January 1st. As such, I emailed "A" to confirm that as of 1/1/11, the policy would no longer have a lifetime cap and pre-existing would go away at that time, as well. I learned that although the premium would increase on January 1, policy changes won't happen until July 1. So, we start paying more as of January 1st, but coverage doesn't change till July 1st.

At that time I was told that I would have a 12 month waiting period for any pre-existing condition during which time the policy may or may not pay $500 towards that condition.

This threw me for a loop...the pre-existing stuff. Granted, since I would have secondary coverage through my husband's policy it probably wouldn't matter, but there's the issue of the ICC policy preferring Methodist and my secondary coverage being OSF. My thyroid and apnea stuff aside, I still have hemophilia. I bleed here and there and haven't had to treat for my bleeding disorder. None the less, it chaps my hide that if I take the insurance (which I pretty much have to), it becomes my primary coverage. As such I will have a 12 month waiting period should I experience significant complications related to my bleeding disorder. Additionally, I might incur extra expenses because I choose OSF over Methodist.

And all this because this insurance opts out of HIPAA.

Which leads me to the NEXT issue. If a plan qualifies to opt out of HIPAA, employees are supposed to receive notification. Every year. Opting out has to occur annually. Opting out of HIPAA is supposed to be notified annually. Nowhere in any benefit stuff have I received notification that my prospective policy opts out.

And THAT leads me to my next issue...I'm, theoretically, opting in to an insurance policy that has opted out of HIPAA. What protections do I have with regards to my medical information? Sure, we all bemoan HIPAA regulations. I'm pretty much uncomfortable with an insurance policy that has opted out of the privacy protections of HIPAA.

"A" and I had some more correspondence during which she told me that although premiums were increasing as of January 1, 2011, plan changes won't take effect until July 1, 2011. When I asked why the different dates, "A" told me that during June employees can change their policy. (Most people refer to this time period as "open enrollment").

Mr. Rix and I mulled this stuff over...one thing we have been concerned with is that his employer has indicated that if there is an opportunity for secondary coverage and that coverage is turned down (like, if I chose NOT to take the ICC policy) there's chance we could incur a penalty. So, at this point we're trying to figure out the relationship between the penalty we'd incur and the cost of my new coverage.

We decide that maybe the way to go is for me to take individual coverage, see how it rolls and then pick up the kids and Mr. Rix (for secondary coverage) during the next open enrollment.

I email "A" again and ask a couple things: First, if I opt out of coverage now, when can I get back in; Next, if I choose single coverage, can I opt into family at that same time. And finally, since I have never had a lapse in coverage, doesn't HIPAA preclude the policy from imposing a pre-existing clause on me.

The bottom line is I either opt into the family plan or I'm fucked. Unless, of course, I have a qualifying event (divorce, death, unemployment)...then I MIGHT be able to get in.

Why do I have a feeling that even if some qualifying event came about, this insurance plan would find a mouse ass sized loophole to deny our coverage?

Fail

2010-09-30T20:32:00.002-05:00

I graduated from high school when I was 17 years old...June of 1986.

August of 1986 I was a Freshman at Northern Illinois University. I declared my major in July of '86...Special Education. I know I've told this story right here more than once. I had a full scholarship to NIU. Totally fucking awesome. Nothing better than knowing that all I had to do was keep my grades up and my tuition would be paid. I grew up, and my parents lived, less than 5 miles from my dorm. It was really, a perfect situation.

Flash forward to age 41.

In my career I've taught in more than 2 dozen districts and 3 times as many classrooms as: itinerant teacher of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, homebound tutor, substitute teacher (both special education classrooms and regular education classrooms), self-contained teacher of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, and special education resource teacher.

Why do I feel like a failure by tossing in the towel? Taking the administrative assistant position at my school feels like a big fail.

On the upside, the benefits package is the best I've been offered since I was 22.

WTF

2010-09-27T18:29:00.004-05:00

Just a couple WTF moments brought to you from culturally sensitive Central Illinois.

First, my son's high school mascot is the Warrior. As in Injun Fighting Warrior. Fine. Not a problem. Well, sort of a problem but what can you do? We ordered t-shirts from the band boosters that have the school colors and "I'm with the Band" on the back. No problem.

I was pretty surprised to see that there was a Native American caricature on the front of the shirt complete with a cartoon-ish Native American. O.K.

Last week was homecoming week and my boss was awesome enough to let me skip out early to see both Sam and Nat marching in the homecoming parade. I'd seen the Junior High band march before but never stuck around long enough to see the rest. Didn't know what I was missing!

It warmed my heart to see that my local, public, school does not crown a high school homecoming King and Queen...instead they crown a Chief and Princess.

And finally, as we walked into the homecoming football game on Saturday, about 10 feet from where school folks are collecting money for the game, I saw about 8 people wearing Mike Unes t-shirts while selling raffle tickets on behalf of the boosters. I swear that I didn't know Mr. Unes' political affiliation.

My loving husband bought me a pork chop sandwich (what is it about the pork chop sandwiches at the football game) and as we stood around, I approached Mr. Unes and asked him if he had any qualms about politicking on school property. He said he was there with his "people" doing a community service. I asked him, then, if he would ask his helpers to removed their 'Unes' t-shirts...since he was there doing a public service and all.

Oddly enough, Mike Unes ended our conversation and asked me what my problem was. I didn't really have a problem, the pork chop sandwich was damn good. Being notoriously abrasive as I am, I noticed that the principal and superintendent were 'in da house' so I moseyed up, introduced myself and asked the principal what district policy is regarding political campaigning on school grounds. The principal (Paul Wittington) is a smart fellow and immediately directed me to the Superintendent, Mr. Chuck Nagel.

Imagine my relief when Mr. Nagel shared that he understood my concerns and assured me that having Mike Unes and his supporters selling raffle tickets on behalf of the EPCHS boosters was an issue he'd grappled with all week. Whew!

He then went on to tell me that the boosters have many non-profit groups who come to games to sell tickets on behalf of the boosters...like the Susan G. Komen Foundation and The American Cancer Society. I pointed out that those two organizations are non-profit agencies without a political agenda. I wondered, aloud, if District 309 was in the habit of endoring political candidates. Mr. Nagel told me no.

We shook hands, he asked me my name again, I continued to eat my pork chop sandwich and went to find my husband. I was sure he was in hiding by this point. But he wasn't. He was still standing (finishing his own sandwich) not far from Mr. Unes and his peeps. I thought it would be cool to get a picture of Mr. Unes and his peeps selling raffle tickets and headed back over their direction....I stood apart from them and took my first picture. Imagine my surprise when some lady in an Unes shirt bum rushed me and reached for my camera!

The rest is a blur but it involved the Superintendent tapping Unes on the shoulder and directing him to the concession stand area (home of the delicious pork chop sandwich). I went back outside the 'gates' to watch the drumline practice (that's where my boy was). As I was standing watching #1 and the rest of the East Peoria Community High School drumline do their pre-game thing, several people wearing Mike Unes t-shirts walked back in forth in front of me...I think they were trying to be ominous. Not sure, though.

Finally, my child stopped performing and I headed back in to the stands to find my husband (who finally had the good sense to separate himself from me....). As I walked back in some lady with really white teeth, bad veneers and a little boy asked me if I had a problem with her watching the football game...she was wearing an Unes t-shirt. I think I probably told her "rock on" and walked away...as I walked away, one of the ladies taking tickets put her hand on my shoulder and said "Thank you, I agree with you 100%."

The rest of the game was uneventful...except that EPCHS won and the band ROCKED IT!

P.S. I'm still debating whether I should contact the school board for clarification re: politicians politicianing on school property. I did a little research and found that most districts limit political activity on public school grounds.

Toot Toot

2010-09-16T21:33:00.003-05:00

I had the amazingly good fortune to share some of our story about raising two kids with hemophilia and the impact of healthcare reform on our family. The story first ran in the Washington Post and was then picked up by MSNBC.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39180968/ns/health-health_care/

I am grateful for any opportunity to share and educate others about the bleeding disorders community, the need for healthcare reform and what has worked/not worked for us.

O M G

2010-09-10T17:18:00.003-05:00

We're getting ready to head to the football game tonight to watch Sam perform during halftime with the marching band. This will be the second time he's performed. The first halftime show was great!

However, we were MORE than shocked by the "pre-game" performance. Sam's high school mascot is the Raider...as in Native American warrior. While they don't have some kid running around in a headdress or anything, it's still a bit troubling. Especially the warrior drumbeat and tomahawk chop as the players run onto the field. Mr. Rix and I stood stunned as we watched the entire cheer-leading squad, band and crowd do the 'ole chop action.

Sometimes I forget how completely backwards this area is. Seriously? It's 2010. And the cheerleaders have several cheers that include hollering "Red Raiders".

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. There are still a butt-load of people who are mad that Pekin High School changed their mascot from the Pekin Chinks to the Pekin Dragons.....in 1980.

Hair

2010-08-14T13:24:00.002-05:00

This is a completely gratuitous blog post having nothing to do with Hemophilia. Or school. Or friends.

This is about male chest hair.

When I was younger and dating younger men, I was not a fan of chest hair. That was long before dudes waxed and shaved themselves. I can remember a couple guys I knew who DID rid themselves of body hair and they were mostly guys who were into body-building. Stubble on a chest is nasty.

So, I would like men...grown men...to know that all us ladies know that a mature man is expected to have chest hair. And armpit hair. When I see a grown man with shiny, smooth body it's gross. It means that you are spending way, way too much time on yourself. And spending too much time on yourself means you're not spending it on your lady. Which is probably why you don't have a lady.

Call this my Chest Hair PSA.

2010-07-27T21:42:00.003-05:00

Throughout the course of a career, teachers most definitely come into contact with more people than the general public. Dontcha think? Except for maybe nurses. No, I think teachers still see more....classrooms full of 25+ students each class, half a dozen classes a day, 180 days a year over a 20 -40 year teaching career? Plus their parents...that's a lotta people.

Those of us in alternative education and special education probably see more heart-breaking cases "per class-pita" (like per capita, but per class...I made it up. Don't hate.) I'm talking about really depressing family-like stories. And I've had my share of students who've lost parents and even a sibling. But today is the first time I'm dealing with a student's death. He's a former student but certainly a stand-out.

Joe came to our school will really long hair, physically fit, didn't smoke (anything) or drink. He'd been expelled for being behavior problem and cussing out a teacher. I got to know Joe really well and simply couldn't believe he would ever utter a foul word. He was the kind of student who would get angry if someone said something nasty about a fellow student. He was smart. He was pretty shy. Of course I understand that he knew how to "work" the teachers and put on a sweet front when he needed too, but he also was genuinely a kind boy. Lots of the girls had crushes on him but he never took advantage of that (and these girls are some times easy pickin's); I think he thought of his female peers at our school more like siblings.

Rough home life, his dad wasn't real nice and spent quite a bit of time "away from the family"...if you know what I mean. All I knew was that dad drank a lot and fought a lot with mom. Joe was very athletic but wouldn't go out for sports because his family was poor and he didn't want to tell anyone that he couldn't afford the athletic fees. He was very distrusting of adults. I got the feeling he'd been lied to or had promises broken so many times that he just gave up on grown ups. He would tell me that he didn't drink or smoke because of his dad.

I really liked Joe and thought he was a pretty neat kid. I complimented him on his manners and talked to him an awful lot about his family. Joe has a VERY ethnic last name. He does not have very prominent features or look the way people around here think he should look because of his last name. Even so, Joe told me that it was commonplace for other students to toss racial slurs his way. He said he was used to it and didn't care. Right. He had an older brother he loved fiercely but with whom he fought like crazy and a younger sister he looked out for constantly.

He had a really bad attendance problem. For the first semester he was in our program, he just wouldn't come to school. No phone at home and no cell so it was easy for him to get away with it. Once we got to know each other, I'd make him a deal that if he came to school, I'd give him a ride home. He didn't like taking the bus home after school because it took longer than the ride in the morning. I'd tell him that if he came to school all week, I'd give him a ride home on Friday. The other good thing was that on Friday's, I ran errands (school stuff, of course) and I'd take Joe with me. So, he got to leave the building early, but he didn't really go home early. He also said he didn't like any of the kids at our school because they were all 'druggies'.

My bribery worked, though. His attendance dramatically improved and he started making friends and continued getting good grades. He would still come find me during the day to say "Hey" or talk during lunch but it wasn't as much. He excelled at sports and became the "jock" of the school...all the kids were impressed with his athleticism...and that's saying something for a bunch of alternative school kids to give a crap about another kid's athletic talent!

It would be great to say that Joe remained steadfast about not participating in all the things his peers were into. But it's kinda rough when you're in a school of less than 50 and the vast majority of your classmates were introduced to those things by their parents or other family members before they graduated middle school. (Seriously)

I did tell Joe that if he wanted to play football, he could play football once he got back to his 'home' school. I told him that if he wanted to sign up for football and needed someone to help him talk to the coach or the Athletic Director about being broke, I'd do it for him. Hell, I broached the subject of letting him stay with us with my husband. (The boys were a couple years too young to take that on.)

Joe's family lost the house they were renting. The landlord sold it and the new owners weren't going to rent it. Mom doesn't work. They moved to Iowa. We got a call at school from the Assistant Principal at the school in Iowa about allowing Joe to participate in sports. Technically speaking, since he had been expelled the previous year and wasn't a student in good standing in their district, they shouldn't let him play football. She asked me what we thought. The coach really wanted him to play. Joe had been in her office and wanted to play. I talked to her and vouched for him and said I thought he needed a chance. She agreed. He played.

For a while.

But as seems to happen, he sabotaged himself. Instead of cooling off and talking to the coach, he probably got mad and walked away and assumed he could never come back.

After Christmas I heard that he was in legal trouble and was facing incarceration. I tracked him down online several days before his court date and he was worried. I later learned he got probation and wasn't in jail. This spring he and his brother wanted to come back to this area from Iowa.

And now he's dead. Drowned in a river.

This is the first time I've had a front row seat at the beginning and end of some kid's arc. The system failed this kid. Oh, sure, he did his best to muck it up himself. This young man had no one but himself, his kid sister and brother. He'd been on his own for years and years. Sure he had a home...but really.

I want to go back through the years (I met him as a Freshman)...I want to find his teachers from about 4th grade through 8th and ask them if anyone had ever taken the time to talk to him and hear about what was going on. Did anyone else know? This is a kid who, when he skipped school, would simply walk back home and hideout in the attic of his home. He wasn't skipping school to go get high, screw his girlfriend, steal from Wal-Mart. He went home. I wonder why he went home? Maybe he went back so he could keep an eye on his mom?

Didn't anyone wonder why a kid like Joe was always so angry? Under different circumstances, he would've been a star quarterback.

The last time I saw Joe was when I was driving with a friend and we stopped at the ATM in East Peoria near Avanti's. I spied him walking with a friend and smoking a cigarette...as soon as he saw me, he tossed the cigarette hoping I didn't see. I gave him a hard time, he told me he was in town and was trying to get back to Iowa, I gave him my number and told him if he didn't have a ride to call me.

I caught up with him online after the jail scare and again told him to call me if he needed anything. He teased me for worrying about him and I gave him a hard time for smoking the last time I saw him.

I hope that once I learn more, I'll learn that Joe was enrolled in a GED class had a job. After the jail scare he got right-sided again and was on his way. Maybe he was out having fun with some new friends after work; they were hanging out at a local swimming hole and that no one realized that rain had made things dangerous. Maybe everyone was nervous and Joe just wanted everyone to have a good time so he jumped in first to show them it was safe.

That story fits with the boy I knew.

Grief

2010-07-19T11:36:00.003-05:00

A friend recently learned that her preschooler has a chronic medical condition. It (as always) came as quite a blow and has given the little guy's parents lots and lots to worry about. As I've 'watched' her learn to deal with all the diagnosis means, I was reminded of what I felt when my oldest was diagnosed with severe hemophilia. It sucked.

I learned early on that it's normal to go through the grieving process during something like this. After all, we're grieving the loss of the life we thought we'd be leading. Somehow we think that the carefree, easy life we had planned is trashed. And, sort of, it is. We grieve for our children...what kind of life are they going to lead? We wonder "How can this be my life?" "What did I do to deserve this?".

When I go back and look at the stages of grief, I can vividly remember the mindset I had each step of the way.

Denial and Isolation: I thought the tests must somehow be wrong. My kid's tests got mixed up with someone else's. If I just stay here in the hospital room, they'll get it figured out. I don't want to call anyone right away and tell them because maybe the tests are wrong. Surely the lab messed up.

Bargaining: I'd be happy to give my life up so he won't have hemophilia. Maybe MY tests got mixed up with HIS and it's really ME who has hemophilia, not him. I promise I'll be perfect and the best parent...then this will go away. If he learns how to breastfeed properly, then that means he doesn't have hemophilia.

Anger: Why us? Why my family? Why my kid? How come all the other mom's in my prenatal class didn't have kids who are 'sick'? Fuck you lady with your cute newborn. Is this God's sick joke? What about MY life? THIS is what it's going to be about from now on?

Depression: It's not going away. We just had to infuse. This is real. What am I going to do? How am I supposed to deal with this? This isn't fair. Our lives will never be normal. My kid is going to be the freaky kid no one wants to play with. He'll never have friends because his friends' moms aren't going to want to worry about this. Great. It's all my fault.

Acceptance: It is what it is.

And I moved back and forth through all these stages for quite some time. When it was time to enroll the boys in school, I'd get all mad and worried again...it's not fair, this sucks. When they had to have their ports inserted and removed. When a kid made some dumbass remark to my oldest I'd get all pissed again.

But it was most assuredly grief. The key for me was to recognize "Oh, great, here it comes again" and let myself feel selfish, angry, and put upon. By acknowledging that what I was going through was real it made it easier to move through it. I also found other parents to talk to and I would ask them "So, what the hell is the deal with me and my pity party." I'd get great stories from other moms and dads.

One mom told me that she just took off in her car for a few hours with the notion of heading to Tijuana. Others told me that they ate like crazy or shopped or smokes packs of cigarettes. Hearing their stories made me normal; made me realize that I wasn't going to float off the deep end. Their stories made me strong...if they can get through it, so can I.

And then there were the parents who claimed they NEVER experienced anything like what I was saying...those parents are still stuck in denial land.

The another thing I've seen happen too often is relationships that don't survive the diagnosis. One parent gets stuck somewhere along the way and the other one can't help. This shit makes or breaks a marriage. If I was having a shitty day, my husband just kept plugging along and vice versa. We learned what we each were good at...he rocks at placating doctors and I'm damn good at dealing with insurance. He taught me sterile technique for infusing and I wouldn't let him be over-protective of the boys.

I'm not sure if my friend will read this. If she does, I hope she'll see some of what she's experiencing right now in what I went through. When I look back on those early days I wonder how in the hell we got through them! It was rough, it wasn't always fun, and we had a lot to learn in a real short time. Of course I would prefer that my children NOT have a chronic medical condition, but I can say unequivically that our family would not be as strong, as close and as committed to one another had we not experienced this together.

Dear 20 Year Old Me

2010-06-30T23:52:00.002-05:00

Oh honey. You have no idea.

Embrace that bangin' body. You're not going to be able to hold tight at 115 for much longer. You're in for a bunch 'o curves here in the next few years and it's just best not to fight it. Stand in front of a mirror and love the body you have. Learn to exercise and learn to love it. Discipline, baby, discipline.

That mouth of yours? It's still going to get you in a heap of trouble. Either thicken your skin or learn to zip your lip. You just can't have it both ways...I know you. Your best bet is to toughen up that skin. At least learn to not let things simmer.

Men. Oh men. I know you got into the game later than a lot of your peers. Girl, you should always go with your gut. 100% go with your gut. Sweet talker? Too good to be real? Absolutely run...run, run, run. And you did real good with the pool cue...he had it coming. You will fall in real love. Let yourself do that. Take in the nice boys...let them treat you well. You're worth loving and worth being spoiled now and then.

You are stronger than you could ever possibly imagine. All the things you'll have to face on your "outside" will seem so small compared to the crap in your own head. But you'll win. You won't do it alone and it would be really great if you didn't try to do it on your own...reach out and ask for help sooner rather than later.

This life you have before you will be amazing. It's going to take just about everything you have and you'll feel like quitting but let it play out. It's really worth the ride.

Your 41 year old self.

An Open Letter to My PeoriaSpeaks Friends

2010-06-15T22:08:00.003-05:00

I miss all of you. Every single one of you.

We all came together as misfits from another forum. We all have way more in common that not.

Some of us have had personal conflicts with each other. Hurt feelings, snubs, misunderstandings and betrayals.

I'm having a hard time looking at my summer without you all.

We ventured out on our own because we felt rejected, misunderstood and disgusted by other stuff we saw and experienced. I miss intellectual conversation with you all. I miss being able to have intellectual and important conversations with those who agree with me. I especially miss those conversations with those who don't agree with me. More importantly, I miss the dialogs we used to have when we didn't agree in principle but we were able to maintain respect for the other's position simply because we genuinely cared for, respected and liked one another.

We, collectively, took online relationships to a higher level. I think we developed a 'real life' community from a whole lotta online interactions; and our real life community worked way better than the online one.

We have several members of our rag-tag bunch who are embarking on major life changes. Marriage. Public Office. Childbirth.

I miss my PeoriaSpeaks family.

NKOTB

2010-06-12T17:42:00.002-05:00

We finally got to meet the new hematologist at our Hemophilia Treatment Center here in Peoria. Our "old" one didn't renew his contract and when he jumped ship, he took virtually ALL of his staff and opened up a practice up the road.

I've never been as impressed with Dr. Tarantino as Dr. Tarantino is with himself and we've been quite disappointed by the customer service and lack of responsiveness to concerns we've had over the years. So, rather than following Dr. Tarantino to his new practice, we felt we owed it to the incoming physician to give him a chance.

Boy I'm glad we did. Dr. Wesly ran clinic much more like the clinic's we had in Milwaukee. When I asked if we could skip seeing the dentist, I was given no "push back". Previously, I'd shared with Dr. Tarantino's staff that have a dentist come in during comprehensive clinic was a waste of our time. #1's got braces, so, obviously we see a dentist regularly. Furthermore, one time the old coot told us that Nat didn't have any evidence of some permanent teeth coming in all over his mouth. $250 worth of x-rays later, our REAL dentist assured us that Nat won't end up a gummy mess.

Dr. Wesly spent an ENORMOUS amount of time talking with both boys. He actually talked TO them...asked them questions, complemented them on their independence, asked about their aspirations, hobbies, etc. His bedside manner is a welcome change from what we've experienced with Dr. Tarantino. It was great. And the boys really, really liked Dr. Wesly. Since they're getting older, it's vital that they learn to develop a good relationship with their practitioners; they must learn what they will look for in a physician and what qualities will make them comfortable. If they DON'T learn these things, it's quite likely that their adherence to whatever treatment plan they choose, will suffer.

Granted, Dr. Wesly does not have the same amount of experience treating patients at a hemophilia treatment center that Dr. Tarantino has/had. His new staff is learning the ropes as well. So, they don't get high marks for experience, per se. However, Dr. Welsy has long been a physician instructor. He has a PhD. He has studied with some highly regarded professionals.

I greatly admire any professional who is willing to admit what she doesn't know...and then can tell me what she'll do when she encounters a situation she's unfamiliar with. Humility. Hubris. These things are far, far more telling.

The very first hemophilia treatment center physician we ever saw is still a family friend. When I shared with her all that has been happening at the treatment center she established and pioneered decades ago, she gave me lots of good advice. One thing she said that stuck with me was that she could take a good doctor with good bedside manner, good instincts, good rapport and she could make that doctor a GREAT Hematologist. But it was almost impossible to take a poor physician/hematologist and make him better.

My gut is telling me that Dr. Osvaldo Wesly has the potential to make huge strides in proving the quality of life for consumers living with bleeding disorders in central Illinois.

Crazy Little Thing Called Life

2010-06-06T18:11:00.002-05:00

I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called ~~love~~ life

I feel like I've not been myself of late. Or maybe I've been more like myself. I can't figure it out.

I've had some friendships fall by the wayside in the last year...one my choice, the other her choice. The "my choice" loss had more of an effect on my daily life since it was a co-worker. We were cordial all year and no one looking in would know things were any different than they'd always been. But I knew. And she knew. And it was fine for the most part but I felt pretty left out of the inside jokes and Thursday night "Group Therapy" sessions that were held. It's o.k. The circumstances certainly warranted removing myself from the equation.

The other "split" felt more personal. And there have been ripples...more affected than just my friendship with this woman. She was part of a group of friends I made not long after we moved here. And now that summer is rolling around, I'm thinking of all the great times we've had getting together for happy hours, ball games, and other general merriment.

I guess this cuts deep because I'm just not a "girl's girl" and have always felt that I'm probably not a very good friend anyway. I don't call when I should. I have a terrible, terrible pattern of flaking of parties and such. So, having these two 'break-ups' merely serves as reinforcement of my long-term beliefs that I'm not a good girl-friend and have a hard time keeping and maintaining friendships with women.

The other factor in all this is the fact that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my family, my husband, and my home. My favorite place to be is here at my house. With my boys and Mr. Rix. I spent years go-go-going, feeling like I had to fill up every minute of my day and night. Mostly I felt that way when I wasn't working...I felt like I had to compensate by doing "stuff".

I have a good life that brings me much contentment and happiness. I'm having difficulty with outsiders and I'm isolating. I can't quite figure out if it's just a phase...should I FORCE myself out? Of course, whenever I do get out, I have a great time, it's just fighting the inertia that's a problem.

I dunno.

Freddie's never steered me wrong. Be cool. Relax.

If only I had a motorbike.

Arnold and Sons Plumbing

2010-06-05T11:37:00.003-05:00

Is a rip off.

Nice technicians that come to the house.

Business practices suck.

$1100 for the removal of our old hot water heater and installation of the new one. Old one was spewing water all over, had to have it replaced. Unfortunately, we learned way too late that the water heater they installed REALLY only cost about $500.

Mr. Rix called to get an itemized list of charges and was told that they "don't do that"...one charge...no listing of the cost of labor, cost of water heater, cost of removal of the old one.

Fuckers.

Full Circle

2010-06-01T20:43:00.005-05:00

My first post as Girl Bleeder was on June 27, 2007.

I think I forgot why I started.

I'd like to start again.

Alternatives Updated

2010-05-11T09:16:00.004-05:00

What is the alternative to alternative schools? We'd better figure it out soon because budget woes in Illinois may equal zero funding for alternative education next school year.

So what? These are students who don't know how to behave in "real" school anyway. They made their choices, now they have to live with them. Rotten kids.

At least that's how a lot of folks regard students enrolled alternative schools. How sad. How can we be willing to write off a kid simple because he made some mistakes when he was 15. Really? Those who don't support alternative programs are the same people who rail against social welfare for these kids when they are adults and unable to work because they dropped out of school and had no other options.

30 years ago a teen could drop out of high school and get a decent job at age 17. These days, it's impossible to find work if you don't have a high school diploma. (GED prep programs are on the chopping block, too.) If a kid does find a job, it's certainly not the sort of job that will provide insurance or a living wage. Then what?

Most folks have absolutely no idea what kind of students are served in our alternative programs. The assumption is that they are students who don't know how to behave. This is simply not true. The stories I hear break my heart.

There's the student who was kicked out of his dad's house because his step-mom didn't like him. No way to get to school, no place to stay. Or the boy who's been in foster-care for most of his life but because he's turned 18, his foster-mother will no longer care for him. Again, homeless...oh wait, he did find a couch/corner to sleep in and ended up with spider bites all over his body, so many that he had to go to the hospital. How about the young lady who smoked weed for the first time at age 8...with her mom. Now at age 16 she struggles with addiction issues. Or the girl who has been in and out of foster care who is currently living in a condemned trailer in the worst trailer park in the area.

These kinds of kids come to school with so much other baggage that conforming in the "traditional" high school environment is virtually impossible. Ideally, every child should come from a home with loving, caring adults who are able to provide guidance, discipline and direction. That's the idea.

The reality is vastly different. We can wring our hands, rail against negligent parents and berate these children for their bad behavior. But the fact is, these kids exist. I don't care HOW they got to this point. They're here. What do we do with them? Discard and disregard them? Leave them to their own devices?

What will happen to them? Jail? Welfare? Public Aid? Those options are far more expensive than providing an alternative setting for them now. An alternative setting that not only provides them with the academic skills they need but also a chance to grow socially and emotionally.

Many of the students I teach remind me of the feral cats in my neighborhood...skittish, fearful and weary of anyone willing to lend them a hand. We take students from wherever the are in their lives and try to build them up to expect more of themselves. We teach them that making bad choices early in their lives does not mean their fates are sealed. We try to break the cycles of dysfunction that exist in their lives.

Most of us who work with these kids believe that a society is only as strong as its weakest member and we have an obligation to help those who aren't able (for whatever reason) to help themselves.

If funding for our alternative schools disappears, our students belief that they don't matter and no one cares will be reaffirmed.

**Here's a picture of 10 out of the 11 students who will receive diplomas this spring from the alternative school I teach in.

Maybe one of my readers...or a state representative has the heart to tell these guys they don't count, won't amount to anything or aren't worth a second chance. You do it. Not me.

Privelege

2010-04-30T05:02:00.002-05:00

I'm simply going to link to THIS

Which is an absolutely fantastic blog post by another dude.

Hmmm....

2010-04-14T19:22:00.002-05:00

#1 came home from school today and said that his literature class went and checked out the Scholastic Book Fair at Central Junior High.

He was concerned because there was a table with a sign: "Christian Interest Books". (And yes, I asked if there was a similar 'Jewish' table...or 'Muslim'....or 'Hindi'...and of course the answer was no.)

He brought his concerns to the attention of his Lit. teacher who suggested he write a letter.

Listen Up!

2010-04-08T15:31:00.006-05:00

I'm giving a shout out to some great guys who've just put out their first CD.

Click: Resoldered "Everybody in Between" and check out what these guys have goin' on!

This CD's been in heavy rotation at our house. I'm digging the punk rock vibe as well as the wit and intelligence in each song. My favorite tracks are "You Failed Me" and "Not Impossible".

Do me a favor and check Resoldered out!

Go

2010-03-30T00:49:00.002-05:00

Time Square

Graceland

A couple places everyone should check out.

I'm especially partial to Graceland since that's where Mr. Rix and I honeymooned.

Sighs and Breaths

2010-03-23T21:10:00.002-05:00

Healthcare reform has begun. I've let out a big breath.

I've explained before that the reason we made the move back to Illinois from Wisconsin had EVERYTHING to do with insurance. After nearly a decade of not having a lifetime cap, we were forced to contend with the implementation of a 1,000,000 lifetime cap. A quick calculation showed us that we would hit that cap when our kids were in high school, if not sooner. We knew we had about 5 years. And the question became, do we proceed pro-actively so that 'capping-out' will be less disruptive or do we wait to see....

We moved.

In the last 4 years we've wondered if my husband's insurance would implement a cap, would our insurance deem our kids too costly and thus, my husband be targeted for dismissal, would (in this shitty economy) he lose his job, lose insurance and then we'd find ourselves unable to get insurance because of pre-existing conditions?

I feel like we can breath. It's going to be o.k. My children will be o.k. They will be able to get insurance. They won't have to cut back on their infusions in order to avoid a cap.

And yet I sigh.

I look at the vitriol, hate, and fear and sigh.

This is supposed to be the greatest nation. Change is hard. Change is painful. We are a country who are supposed to espouse the virtuous and bring out all that is good and kind. What has happened to us?

If we are supposed to be a "Christian nation", doesn't that mean we're supposed to be Christ-like....as in Jesus? What about Matthew's sermon on the mount? Aren't we supposed to do things like feed the hungry? Cloth the poor? Doctor the sick?

So, this week, I breath easy knowing my kids will be ok.

I Know

2010-03-09T17:49:00.003-06:00

I think I know why things are more difficult for students these days.

First, my high school had a "smoking lounge" up until I was in about 7th grade.

We had a Coke AND Pepsi machine and a snack bar at lunch where one could buy a big cup of fruit punch and a Susie Q for $1.00. There was no sissy salad bar.

We only has TRS80 computers and "Computer Class" consisted of writing Boolean programs.

The Home Ec. Teacher and the (married) Principal were having an affair and everyone knew about it. And no one cared.

We didn't have 'weighted' classes...meaning, the race for Valedictorian meant that Linda H's mom could still do her homework for her all the way through High School.

If you needed to smoke a cigarette before Softball practice, there was the equipment shed.

Kids didn't have sex on the dance floor during dances, that's what the cars in the parking lot were for. And the bathrooms were for sneaking nips off the pints of Peppermint Schnapps girls snuck in in their purses.

If a kid got caught smoking in the bathroom, he had to stay after school and clean the bathrooms.

I'm being tongue in cheek here. However, I do, on some level, think that when I was in high school, my parents and my peer's parents treated us as though we were a bit more mature. Our teachers didn't seem to sweat the 'small' stuff.

And finally, most of us knew that graduating from high school and pursuing some kind of higher education (college, Junior College, Technical college) would lead to greater success. Unfortunately, my students see that often time, additional education means jack shit.

This is Me

2010-03-08T17:50:00.002-06:00

And I'm pissed. Maybe aggravated is a better word.

1. In the course of a couple months I've learned that my previous doctor was a total fuck up and I fired her.

2. My kids' specialist's office is inept. But we really don't have a choice about that one.

3. On paper we owe $85,000 for the boys' medicine (see #2)

On a lighter note, my oldest told me today that there are only 40 days of school left. I don't know whether to rejoice or cry...rejoice that the year is almost over; cry because that means he's going on to high school.

Good grief.

Saga Part 2

2010-02-15T14:42:00.002-06:00

I saw my new doctor today. I shared with her my concerns and asked her to look through the test results I've already had.

She told me I have Hashimoto's Disease. The Thyroid antibody test my other doctor did wasn't just high, it was REALLY high. She doubled my thyroid medicine and told me I wasn't crazy.

As I shared things with her, she filled in my medical history on my chart. It seems my previous doctor hadn't done that. In fact, I was listed as being a carrier of Hemophilia A (it's Hemophilia B) and no mention of my having two kids with severe hemophilia B.

Also, no mention in my history that my mother, aunt and younger sister also have Hashimoto's.

Clearly my previous doctor was not really doing her job.

On the other hand, I enjoyed meeting Dr. Ortiz and look forward to seeing her again in 8 weeks when I'll have my TSH done again.

I only wish I would've listened to my husband and changed doctors two years ago.

Saga

2010-02-11T12:17:00.003-06:00

This quest to improve my health is being severely hampered by, of all people, my doctor.

I went through my sleep study and discovered that I do have sleep apnea. I'm now using a CPAP device and it does seem to be helping. I'm having trouble with my mask, though. I will be meeting with a respiratory therapist to get that taken care of.

More frustrating is my thyroid situation. My TSH level is slightly elevated. After much pushing, my doctor agreed to put me on a low dose of synthroid and ordered a thyroid anit-body test. As she was ordering the test, she said "this will show if you really do have any problems with your thyroid"; I took it to mean "I don't think anything is wrong with you but I'll humor you". When the antibody test came back positive, a nurse called and ordered a thyroid ultrasound. When that exam showed some abnormalities, I was told to stop the synthroid and a nuclear thyroid scan was ordered. That was yesterday. By the end of the day, I had received a call from my doctor's office stating that the nuclear scan is fine and I should go back and have my TSH tested before I start synthroid.

When I reminded the nurse that I'd had my TSH done recently and that's, in fact, what started the rest of the tests she sputtered and said "Well, that's what the doctor wants you to do." When I asked why, she had no answer.

Earlier this week I attempted to get my allergy medicine refilled. It was denied and I was told that my doctor would need to fill out a prior authorization and submit it to my insurance company. On Monday, I called my doctor's office to see if she had done that. The nurse indicated that she had filled out the paperwork and that my insurance would only authorize 1/2 my usual dose.

Frustrated, I called my insurance company to find out what the deal was. I was told that there was no record of my doctor having submitted an authorization. None. Nada.

So, I then called BACK to the doctor's office asking why my doctor would say she'd done something that she obviously hadn't. Why was she lying? I demanded to speak with my doctor personally.

I have been telling her for years that I don't feel well, that I gained 60 lbs. in six months, there's a significant family history of hypothyroidism, blah, blah, blah. I have been so frustrated that I just stopped going to see her for 2 years and used Immediate Care when I had pneumonia and a respiratory infection. She certainly had no qualms ordering a mammogram even though I just had one two years ago and there's no family history of breast cancer EVER.

I lost it. Totally lost it. I reminded this doctor of our recent office visit wherein I told her that I gained the 60 lbs. in 6 months while on a medication called Depakote. Her response? "That is why I told my OB/GYN that I didn't want the Depo shot." She confused Depakote (depression medication) with the Depo-Provara (birth control) shot.

When I questioned her about the prior-authorization that she DIDN'T actually submit even though she said she did? She said, "Well, in the past, when I have submitted a prior authorization, the medication still gets denied and then I have to call the Medical Director who declined the claim."

I see. Doing what you're supposed to do to advocate for patients is more work? Following through with a prescription that YOU wrote is too much work? WHAT THE FUCK??

Needless to say, I have an appointment with a new doctor to discuss the results of the tests that I've already had and to establish another course of action. But I'll tell you, I'm pretty fucking frustrated. I also warned my potential new doctor that my relationship with my previous doctor did not end on a high note and I'm sure the H&P notes will reflect that last encounter.

Yes, I should've switched doctors years ago when I felt I wasn't being listened to. Yes, I should not wait so long to go to the doctor. No, I should not have yelled at my doctor and told her I'd file a grievance. If this doctor isn't interested in advocating for me in a minor situation like this, what the hell is she willing to do for a patient with more serious issues?

Dr. Malini Chavali is probably not the best choice for patients looking for an up front, honest, and aggressive doctor.

Once Upon a Time

2010-02-07T22:27:00.002-06:00

I started my blog a long, long time ago as a means of recording my thoughts and experiences. While my hope was to just give me a platform to write, I also hoped to give voice to other parents raising kids with chronic medical conditions.

As luck would have it, I found a network of other local bloggers with whom I connected. I loved reading what they wrote. We all connected in an amazing way.

I'm very much missing that amazing group of folks. None of us blogs much. It's almost like we reached an apex and there's nothing left.

I miss my Trailerhood, KPOW, PH, Brick, GA, SS, MM, Ramble, PaP, Redbird,

What has happened? Where are you?

WTF

2010-02-07T10:31:00.003-06:00

I have allergies. Over the counter allergy medicine doesn't work. Period. I use an inhaler when my allergies get bad. When that doesn't work, I have a steroidal inhaler I have to use. Clearly my allergies not good.

I take generic Allegra for my allergies. I have taken this medicine for years and it's the only thing that controls my crazy histamines. My dose is 180mg and I take a pill in the morning and at night.

I've been doing this for YEARS. And just had my prescription refilled last month.

Can you guess where this is going????

I'm outta my medicine so I went online to and order a refill. When I got to my neighborhood pharmacy I'm told that my insurance no longer covers this drug. Huh? I remind the tech that the script was filled last month, what happened?

Then she says, well, you INSURANCE company wants to check with your doctor about the dose. Again, it's the same as it's been forever.

But no. I can't get my medicine because my INSURANCE company wants to call and question my doctor (who WROTE THE SCRIPT).

Seriously?

This is the same INSURANCE company for whom I negotiated a lower price on my children's ultra-expensive medicine last year, but they wouldn't enter an agreement with the homecare company to put that lower price in place. (Thereby missing out on an opportunity to save TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.)

So, hopefully I won't have a bad reaction (lately I've been having reactions to foods...weird) and end up in the hospital. I'd hate to think that in an effort to cut costs on my medication, they'd end up having to cover the cost of an ER visit.

But hey. This is America. We have the best healthcare in the world. No need for insurance reform. None at all.

HELLO???

2010-01-27T16:13:00.004-06:00

Dear East Peoria High School,

What, exactly, is the purpose of expelling students who test positive (via urine sample) for the use of marijuana? Is the fact that you can pull kids randomly out of class and have them pee in a cup supposed to act as a deterrent?

FYI. It's not working.

Each year you drug test and expel more and more students. Are you testing more students? Are more students testing positive? Are you trying to get rid of a certain element at your school?

It's not working.

In fact, I would venture a guess that it's having the OPPOSITE effect. Because students, even infrequent weed smokers, know you're all full of shit. These students know you don't pull a name out of a hat and drug test them. How do they know this? Because the kids you DO test were probably getting high with Susie Cheerleader and Johnny Quarterback over the weekend.

And I think it's not even a little bit of a coincidence that the kids you seem to enjoy drug testing just happen to come from families who don't fit the bill of the ideal family. They come from the "bad" part of town.

Furthermore, because of your fucking ridiculous random drug testing policies, many students are turning to even more dangerous ways to get high. Robo-trippin'? Triple C? Stealing Mom's Xanax? Huffing Glade air freshener? Chugging a 5th of UV Blue? Yeah. Cuz, see, those sorts of things don't show up on your piss tests. And that's exactly what's happening.

I HOPE my boys have the restraint and skills to not succumb to peer pressure when they go to East Peoria High School. But, I'll tell ya what, I sure as hell would prefer they rebel and experiment by smoking a bowl on a Saturday night instead of popping 30 cold medicine tablets or drinking a couple bottles of OTC cough syrup.

Get your heads outta your asses, school board. How many of you coulda passed a piss test in 1985?

Begone, Dressers

2010-01-18T16:27:00.002-06:00

I'm fixated. This happens periodically.

My fixation of the last several months is on how much I hate dressers. High-boys. Chiffarobes. Armoirs. Chest of drawers. I'm very much over them. They take up too much space. I've never met anyone who can fit all their clothes in one, let alone two.

My kids' dressers always look like they are throwing up...clothes, boxer shorts, pants...always hanging out.

I want all of our closets to be "California Closets". It makes so much more sense. Only about 1/2 of a typical closet really is utilized. Why don't builders just build closets with upper and lower closet rods as well as an upper and lower shelf? That stupid shelf that sits above the closet rod is a waste...pile stuff too high and it falls over. Pile sweaters reasonably high and there's still a good six inches of wasted space.

It's stupid.

And closet doors? I'm against them too. So far I've removed the doors from my room and from my youngest son's room. I've hung fabric panels. I tell ya, once you take the closet doors off a bedroom cloest? Holy space in there! I couldn't believe how much room is in there...we only see 1/2 a closet at a time.

I cant afford to pay for the kind of closet system I want right now, so I've settled for moving my dresser into my closet, taking the door off, and hanging fabric panels. It's freed up room to add my rocking chair in my room. (The rocking chair I tried to give away a year ago but the boys threw a fit because it's their 'rock-a-rock' chair.)

I moved my youngest's dresser into his closet too which has freed up a ton of room.

The biggest issue with eliminating the dressers is that my dresser was my Grandmother's and is part of a bedroom set. I'm still using the vanity and the bed is at my mom's. My husband's dresser and my youngest's belonged to my husband's Uncle (and namesake) and my oldest's dresser was my mother-in-law's and, in turn, my husband's. So, we have this bulky furniture that has all sorts of sentimental value. We have no basement (split-foyer homes suck) and my Mr. Rix says I can't put anything else in our shed.

My answer is that we should move to a bigger house with a basement. That solution has not been very well received.

" "

2010-01-13T21:54:00.002-06:00

Things I've heard/overhead so far this semester:

"Dude. Faygo is the woop woop."

"When I was a kid, I pulled my eyeball out to ------------> here, the let it spring back in my eyeball socket"

"My back hurts so bad." "Do you need a back rub?" "I don't need a back rub I need a fuckin' pill."

"We totally drank a handle of vodka this weekend."

[a "handle" means those big quart bottles with the built in handle]

"I know I've dug a hole for myself. And my hole just gets bigger."

"I can't poop in that bathroom. I need the other bathroom for pooping."

"Dude, I have a snake. My neighbor had a python but it got loose. I found it in the creek and I took that fucker home. Now it's mine." "You gotta watch out, a python will eat a cat." "Yeah, mine ate my cat last week."

Bleh

2010-01-10T22:18:00.003-06:00

I am feeling very uncomfortable. Too many doctors; too many tests.

I feel like a mess.

I guess it's good that everything is happening quickly because if I had more time to think about it all, I'd probably cancel all the appointments.

#1 has a broken hand. For real?

A week in to '10 and I'm feeling weary.

Round 24 Updated

2010-01-07T14:52:00.003-06:00

January 1st...first day of new insurance. Again. However, this time it's not NEW insurance, it's merely changes to our existing.

In November we were told that our premiums would go up and that there would be some other stuff involving co-insurance. Nothing that would affect us.

Early this week I called to order the boys' medicine; several hours later I received a call asking for the new insurance numbers (that came with the new insurance cards we received in December).

The following day I received a phone call from the home care pharmacy that delivers the boys' meds. They verified coverage with our insurance company and passed along the information to me. It seems that we will now be subjected to a $1,500.00 per person/$3,000.00 out of pocket maximum deductible for the boy's medication through the major medical portion of our policy. This information was NOT given to us when we received notice of changes to our policy in November.

The boys' medicine is a prescription drug so I called the pharmacy portion of our policy to see if we could get the meds prescribed that way and then only have to pay the $50 co-pay. The answer is NO. Because only medications one can "walk up to a pharmacy and receive" are available on our pharmacy plan.

Well, CVS isn't going to stock this stuff so we're fucked.

We have a pharmacy benefit with applicable co-pays. But we can not use it under this circumstance because the drug is a specialty drug. SO instead of $100 per month for their medicine, we will be paying $250 per month.

We're in the process of making some phone calls to see what we can do. But as it stands, our premiums when up and our coverage went down.

Fuckers.

***After a few more emails and phone calls, we think we've got it squared away. It appears that it was a matter of semantics as well as a couple different departments not being clear. $1500/$3000 IS the out of pocket max, but since the boys' meds are covered 100% under major medical with no co-pay, there is no out of pocket, ergo no worries.

The morale of the story? Don't stop with the first phone call. Or email. Or even the second phone call. Also, always make sure to take notes of when you called and with whom you spoke.

I take back the "Fuckers" statement. For now.

Issues

2010-01-04T21:47:00.003-06:00

New semester. Some new students....some re-arranged schedules.

A program like the one I teach in is interesting because our student body is ever-changing. We have students who come to us for as little as a partial semester - they got kicked out early in one semester and will be allowed back as soon as the next one starts.

Others are with us for a year and some as long as two years. There really is no rhyme nor reason to who gets expelled for what offense for how long. We, literally, have students who live a block away from each other but attend different high schools who, when disciplined for the same exact offense, are punished differently. One kid from one neighborhood attending East Peoria High School who tested positive for smoking weed might get a two year expulsion, but her buddy who lives a couple blocks away and goes to Pekin High School and was caught WITH drugs in her possession might only get a ONE year expulsion (or maybe only a semester).

Go figure.

Most of my classes are the same and the curriculum continues from the 1st semester through the 2nd. I have the same kids in English, Math, Science and Social Studies....we just continue through the curriculum one semester to the next.

The exception is my "Social Issues" class. This semester is the 4th semester I've taught this class and my principal basically turned me loose, gave me a dozen kids and said "Keep 'em busy" and suggested a framework. I have no one set curriculum but I've steadily pulled things from here and there and cobbled together a current events/teen issues/how-to-function-as-a-human-being type class.

We cover everything from common courtesy and etiquette to how to discuss volatile issue such as race and religion in an acceptable fashion. I know the most of my students probably consider the class a "gimme" and that's pretty cool because it's really a lot more than that. The class itself is a semester long exercise in tolerance and acceptance.

So, today starts my new semester of "Social Issues" and there's this one kid that I've had in class before. I call him a "Returning Contestant"...he was in our program as a Middle School Student and is now returning as a High School student. He's in my S.I. class today and is very reluctant to participate. I'm not understanding what his deal is...the class is easy... participate, give input...no biggie.

I ask him to hang for a few minutes after class and I say "Hey, Alex, I'm totally NOT happy that you're back here again [because that means he got kicked out of his high school] but I'm totally happy to see you! What's up? You seem way bummed about being in Social Issues class."

He says [in his best Jeff Spicoli voice]...."I'm really happy to see you too. But, dude, I don't know why I'm in this class. There's nothing wrong with me. I don't have any issues. And, dude, I'm totally social."

Uh. Yeah. It's going to be a good semester.

Bring it on!

2010-01-03T10:33:00.002-06:00

Thyroid anti-body screening indicates there actually IS a problem with mine. Thyroid ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow.

I really had to PUSH my doctor to listen to me and run the additional testing. So, I feel vindicated there. Vindicated and frustrated that had I been a more passive patient and less informed, my doctor would have blown off my symptoms. Considering losing this doctor and finding another one

Sleep study on Friday. OB/GYN appointment next week.

It feels wonderful to be taking control.

****

Rang in the new year with wonderful friends and family. I've often thought there was something wrong with me because I'm just not the kinda gal who had scads and scads of friends. 2009 helped me realize that being that way is perfectly fine.

I reconnected with my oldest best friend, Anne, and we picked up where we left off nearly 20 years ago.

I realized that I need to spend MORE time with my best friend from college before she and her husband move to Florida.

I spent lots of time with my best friend Sandy and we've grown even closer. And then there's my newest best friends...some have come, some have gone. I'm looking forward to deepening those friendships.

It's gonna be a great year!

The Truth Hurts

2009-12-29T22:16:00.003-06:00

My name is Rix and it has been more than two years since my last doctor's visit. I do keep up with my "Crazy Doctor" visits so that she can monitor my crazy pills. But other than that, I haven't had a regular checkup for almost 2 years. (And yes, there is much discussion about whether the crazy pills are working.)

I struggle with allergy issues and asthma. I'm overweight, have a family history of hypothyroidism and am genetically predisposed to elevated cholesterol. I have a bleeding disorder and often have irregular PAP smears. Last year I went to prompt care and was diagnosed with pneumonia...never did the follow up.

So, yeah. I'm like the last chick who should be avoiding the doctor. But I have. Look, I know I'm fat...for almost 5 years I've been more than 50lbs. heavier than my "normal" lifetime weight. I know I need to lose weight. There's MORE going on than just being fat. I know how to count points and exercise. I gained 50+ pounds in the 6 months preceding our move and have had a hard time finding a doctor who actually believed that the gain happened that fast.

Things finally came to a head because I'm constantly exhausted. I sleep AT LEAST 8 hours during the week and closer to 10 hours on the weekends. I'm short of breath and have hot flashes all the time. Zero energy. My memory, especially short term, is totally shot...alarmingly so.

So, yeah. Finally went to the doctor and had all the blood work done. Referral to a sleep specialist, OB/GYN, mammogram...the whole tune up.

Blood work up = high cholesterol, high LDL. This is not a surprise to me. My mom has had levels well above 400...I'm certain it's a genetic thing. My blood pressure the last three times I've had it taken (over about 6 weeks) has been roughly 150/90. (I've done the "prompt care" thing at least twice this year and my BP has never been above about 112/70.)

TSH is elevated. My doctor and I had a difference of opinion about whether my level warranted medication. My previous TSH was 4.75 (a year ago...done by my Psychiatrist) and most recently it's 5.02. Certainly it's not alarmingly high, however, my husband has Grave's Disease so we have become intimately familiar with the differences in opinion about TSH "norms" between Endocrinologists and the rest of the medical community. Ultimately my doc ordered a Thyroid anti-body and prescribed low level sythroid.

I also have elevated calcium and iron levels. Which is odd...I have a bleeding disorder and have often worried about being anemic. One thing I did for myself what start taking a multi-vitamin, but my doctor said I should stop because of these levels.

So, I'm having a sleep study done next week to evaluate whether or not I'm dealing with apnea. If so, treatment for apnea could improve the high blood pressure and exhaustion. The low dose synthroid could improve that as well.

My focus over the last 4 years has been making sure my kids adequately dealt with our move, getting Mr. Rix through the diagnosis and treatment of Graves Disease, making sure my mother-in-law (and husband) had all they needed to handle the diagnosis and death of my father-in-law and re-establishing my career. My personal health has been dead last.

During the upcoming year, I will do more to improve my personal health. Hell, I have a sleep study, OB appointment and mammogram all scheduled for January...this is a resolution that won't be hard to keep.

Ahhhh.....

2009-12-27T16:39:00.003-06:00

It's beautiful outside! Fresh snow...little bit of sunshine, I LOVE it!

The Great "Stay Home for Christmas" plan went wonderful. Mostly because the weather was so shitty that had we planned to travel, our plans would have been totally cancelled. So, we stayed home and had a great time.

We completely surprised the boys with a PlayStation 3 this year. We had previously told them (and thought ourselves) that they would be saving up their own money and gift cards and buying the console themselves. But the price dropped about $100 so we did it. (It's actually pretty cool...Blue Ray player and we can access our digitized media collection via wireless.)

As always, they received music related stuff....#1 got some sort of drum "drop clutch" thing for his double-bass/high hat pedal and #2 got some kind of groovy switching pedal for his Marshall. They've played together quite a bit since getting their music gift and both were really excited when they opened them. I'm clueless as to the names of the things and the particular function, all I know is that it has got them playing more, so that's groovy.

Our kids are fortunate to have generous relatives who give them pretty cool stuff...clothes, books, t-shirts, etc. We really don't spend a WHOLE lot on 'stuff' for them throughout the year. They are boys and could really care less about their clothes or shoes. They are both voracious readers so they utilize both the school and public library quite a bit, but if there's a series they want, they often use their gift cards for that.

We do splurge on private music lessons for both boys...#1 since he was 7 or 8 and #2 since age 8. I took private piano lessons from the time I was in 2nd grade through 7th grade and private flute lessons for a couple years in Junior High; Mr. Rix took private drum lessons for many years, too. We both feel very strongly that a solid music background can only lead to positive things. In that same vein, we are equally willing to splurge on quality equipment....not necessarily stuff that will last a lifetime, but stuff that they can really PLAY on. Not rinky-dink crap that actually discourages them.

It always seems that this time of year people lament the commercialization of the holidays and seem to gnash their teeth about not WANTING to succumb to their kids' every desire and yet they worry about "how it would look" if they DIDN'T buy their kids everything under the sun. I don't really understand that. I don't really care what other people think of how my husband and I parent (well, that's not entirely true, I do value the opinion of a few close friends and family).

We have taught the boys about ALL the reasons people celebrate this time of year...Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, St. Nicholas and how The Church co-opted many of these traditions in a push to name December 25th the birthday of Jesus. This time of year is special for OUR family because it's often about spending time together, reminiscing and basically enjoying the company of our family and friends. It just so happens that one of our family's traditions is to exchange gifts this time of year.

We have had many, many lean years at Casa de Rix. We don't overindulge our children throughout the year. As a result, this time of year has always been a time when we hope to surprise our kids with something unexpected...not something we got roped into because that's just what "good parents" do.

The same parents who bemoan the "commercialization" of the holiday are the same parents who spend $200 on an Easter Basket, $150 on a Halloween costume, $50 on chocolates for Valentine's day and buy only brand name clothing because their daughter will 'only wear' Hollister and their boy will 'only wear' DC shoes. Uh. Maybe you've raised a monster who expects everything under the sun. It sure as hell isn't the kid's fault.

In my opinion, if one feels pressured into buying and indulging their children simply because "it's Christmas" and that's what's expected, that says an awful lot more about the parent than it does about society, merchandisers, or the media.

Losses

2009-12-22T23:01:00.003-06:00

12 months.

Loss.

Gain?

I've disengaged from 2 women I had previously considered very close friends.

Each loss threw me for a loop...I invested more in the relationship than was reciprocated.

Each blunder reminds me to be grateful for the love and support I have under my own roof.

And, I hate to admit it, I should never be willing to give more than I'm willing to lose.

Old Enough to Drive

2009-12-20T17:51:00.002-06:00

My marriage is old enough to drive.

Mr. Rix and I celebrated our 16th Wedding Anniversary on Friday. I'm a lucky woman.

And, in our usual fashion, we partied hard till the wee hours of the night. These days that means watching DVR'd episodes of Bones and House and hittin' the sack at about 9:00. As well fell asleep, he asked me again if I'd marry him.

See, the night he proposed was only about 4 months after we started dating and after his sister's wedding reception. After he got down on a knee (accidentally?) in the parking lot of the Town and Country Motel in Streator, IL, I told him to ask me again when he was sober. You know what? He's asked me to marry him every night since then.

It's been a wild ride, baby, and I can't wait to see where it goes next.

I'm so mean

2009-12-15T16:20:00.002-06:00

Several of my students attended the ICP [Insane Clown Posse] concert last Friday here in East Peoria. It appears that Central Illinois is part of Juggalo Nation.

The crux of the show is that the entire crowd is SHOWERED with sugar soda...faygo. Feathers are shot at the crowd as well as confetti. Sounds like an awesome time. "Juggalos" is the name given to the followers of ICP. I don't get it...kids these days. It's not much different that the crap we listened to when we were in high school. Silly camaraderie....nonsense songs....all in good fun.

But the two dudes who are the main guys are named Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J. I asked my students how only two people could make a posse. And then I kept calling them "Shaggy and Scooby".

I really don't know why my students sometimes don't take me seriously.

Give him a chance....UPDATED

2009-12-14T15:39:00.004-06:00

I have a former student who had been previously diagnosed as ADD. As my fellow teachers and I got to know him, it seemed like maybe there was something else going on. He was eventually diagnosed with some significant mental health issues and is now properly medicated and back in his "home" school and on the honor roll.

I just received word that he had tested positive for marijuana, received a 10 day suspension and will face expulsion.

Really? This kid had 4 months back in his "home school". By all accounts, he was far more successful that the staff at his high school expected. His grades are good, behavior is good and he's doing well. But, for some reason, he was subjected to a "random" drug test. I highly question the "randomness". I suspect that his previous transgressions (in another district) played a role in all this. Never mind how great he's been doing for the whole semester.

I sure hope his school board can be convinced to give him a 2nd chance and put him on an abeyance contract. This boy has worked soo hard and gone through an awful lot to get his head together.

I'm awfully grateful that these kinds of measures were not in place when I was in school.

**UPDATE** I've been told that my former student will, indeed, have a 10 day suspension (as he should) but rather than be expelled, he will be offered an intervention contract. I know he'll take it...I hope this is just a blip on the road for him.

Puh-lease

2009-12-09T19:58:00.001-06:00

If you choose the "20 Items or less" lane, you don't get to ask the cashier to "check the price" on 27 items and THEN only buy 20.

If you are married to me and we are taking turns getting up an hour early to take one of our children to early band practice? When it's MY turn to get up an hour earlier, don't get up too. The idea of taking turns is that the other person gets to sleep. If you don't care about sleeping, you should get up early each time. Otherwise, I feel really resentful that you are soooo not taking advantage of that extra hour or so. Cuz I totally would.

If you are my student and you know that I have a strange neurosis about repetitive noises...and I've explained that I know it's neurotic and I can't help it ( just like you can't help chewing your pencil, taking your pens apart, drawing on your paper, humming a tune, listening to your MP3 player, clearing your throat, readjusting your junk in the middle of class) I hope you will grant me the same margin of error I grant you. If you can't, DON'T THROW A FIT WHEN I TAKE THE PENCIL YOU KEEP TAPPING AWAY FROM YOU. (besides, I'm the one who GAVE you the pencil because you never have one of your own)

If you are my new artificial Christmas tree? You should not keep eating lights. I keep buying mini-lights for you and you still aren't covered. I know that you have come into the family of over the top lights on trees, but 3 days and 6 hours of doing lights is a bit much.

If you are my children? You can't wear a stocking cap in the house anymore. When you do, you remind me too much of a student with whom I spend too much time. Also, after 11 and 13 years of this routine, you should totally have it down. Don't whine. Don't badger. Give me a kiss when I ask for one. Snuggle with me on demand. And vacuum.

If you are my friend? Thank you.

If you are my family? I'm sorry. (Ya'll don't really have a choice.)

2009-12-05T14:28:00.003-06:00

Maureen Cook

April 6, 1961 - December 2, 2009

You will be missed, friend.

Heavy

2009-12-01T17:01:00.002-06:00

My heart is so sad and heavy. I can hear Maureen's voice in my head. Her soft manner and gentle soul...

A very dear friend has days left with her family. It's been one of those awful stories that I hear of but have never experienced. She had an awful cough and hadn't felt well for weeks. Her husband insisted that she see a doctor.

Cancer. Lung, liver and brain...diagnosed late last spring. She fought hard and had a wonderful summer with her two daughters, son and daughter in law and my 'adopted' Uncle Wayne (a man with hemophilia who took my boys under his wing). Last week she fell at home and was admitted. The cancer has spread. Her feeding tube has been removed and she's in hospice.

All I can think about is my 40th birthday celebrated in Denver while at a hemophilia related event. Maureen bought me a cake and a funny t-shirt. Her daughters, Casey and Shannon...Wayne Jr.

There's supposed to be a reason and purpose for everything but I'm having one hell of a time figuring this one out.

I love you Maureen. I love you Wayne. I feel so helpless and pray that her days are not filled with pain.

Enjoyment vs. Appeasement

2009-11-30T14:33:00.003-06:00

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was a lovely long weekend spent with in-laws and in-laws of in-laws but everyone survived. It was not the holiday we had originally planned but fun none-the-less.

And today I find myself in a crabby mood. Actually, the crab encroached last night just before I went to bed. My parents went MIA for Thanksgiving and I got word on Sunday that they were headed back home. This got me thinking of the weeks to come and planning for Christmas. Which seemed to aggravate me.

Typically my family (parents and siblings) do our Christmas on Christmas Eve. Mr. Rix's family does theirs on Christmas Day. My parents and his sister live about 2 or so hours away (by way of much traffic) so we often do my parents' and then head to his sister's.

This year is no different. However, Mr. Rix has to work till 4:30 on Christmas Eve. This means the boys and I will pack and wait for him to get home, hop in the car and drive 2 hours to my folks. There we will celebrate and open presents. Then go to bed. Then get up, re-pack, load the car and drive to his sister's house. Where we will celebrate and open presents. Then we will go to bed. Then we will have to get up and drive 3 hours so that Mr. Rix can be back in town to go to work at 2:30.

Sounds like a blast, huh? Yeah. Not so much.

Why am I doing this? Why am I putting my family through this? Mr. Rix took the day after Thanksgiving off in the hopes that we'd have a relaxing long weekend with both my family and his...we were able to spend time with his but my folks made other plans. So why the fuck am I going to bust my ass for all this?

It's certainly not enjoyable. Spending time with my siblings is enjoyable, but really, one of my sister's will have to leave to go to her in-law's family's house and my brother will probably leave to go hang out at a bar with his friends after dinner. So, what gives?

We have done this for so many years simply to appease people. And you know what? I'm done. I'm so over the chaos and insanity.

I dread the run up to the holiday because I never get done what I want to get done, I feel inadequate and it all goes by in a blur. I feel like I don't get to enjoy my own family. My children. They just get one set of gifts open and we have to shove them away and head off to the next house. Well, I don't want to do that this year. I want to have a nice, relaxing Christmas at MY house with MY family. I want my kids to wake up leisurely on Christmas and enjoy their gifts. We have cut back over the years and the gift giving in minimal...which is great.

I want to make dinner MY way. I want to make cookies and rent the movies WE want to see. I want to pull the couch up to a bed and lay around watching the boys enjoy what is sure to be a well-received gift. No more doing this crap just cuz it's what my mother wants. I'll save that for Thanksgiving and Easter...I'll do what they want. For now? I'm officially reclaiming Christmas for my own family.

Of course, I haven't shared my enlightenment with my husband or my Mother (or HIS mother). I'll let you know how it goes over.

Whaaa?

2009-11-25T18:04:00.003-06:00

Uh. Heaven help me. Harry's a Hottie.

(source: Tim Hailand )

More from the Frontlines

2009-11-22T13:53:00.003-06:00

Student: When I grow up I wanna have a pet monkey.

Me: My mom's uncle had a pet monkey he kept in the garage. I think it was kinda mean.

Student: Really? He kept it in the garage?

Me: Yeah, but I never got to see it.

Student: Well, I won't keep my pet monkey in the garage.

Me: Monkey's don't always make very good pets.

Student: Oh, mine will. I'm going to teach it how to roll joints for me.

Me: ....

From the Frontlines

2009-11-19T13:16:00.002-06:00

Student: "Ummmmmm.....I love pork rinds."

Me: "Huh. I'm not really a fan of pork rinds. Fried pigskin, bleh."

Student: "Oh. I love them. And did you know that if you eat them, you'll sleepwalk?"

Me: "Really? That's not something I've ever heard before."

Student: "Totally. It's totally true. You should try it sometime."

Me: "You have some interesting things to share sometimes. Thanks."

Old Lady

2009-11-15T17:48:00.002-06:00

That's me.

Know how I know? Because I've been wearing my new shoes all day. I'm very happy with my new, comfortable shoes. My feet feel really happy. I don't ever remember being this happy about a new pair of shoes since I was about 5 and my mom took me to the shoe store in Elgin where there was a Buster Brown tree in the store. OH! And she used to take me to Malone's in DeKalb. They had cool stairs.

Also, I'm really happy about our new garage door and garage door opener. We seem to open and close our garage door much more frequently these days.

I think I'm going to go outside in my new shoes and open and close the new garage door...BRB.

Dear Loud People

2009-11-14T14:48:00.002-06:00

As much as I enjoy eavesdropping, it's hardly fun when you're yelling to your friend. I enjoyed you, Mr. Famous Footwear Manager telling your employee about how much soap to put in the bucket when mopping the back room. I also liked the comparisons you made between the tile on the "showroom" floor to the tile in the back room. Thanks. I feel like I really got to know you better.

"Funny" Guy at Kroger, you are very charming and witty. We all know that because of how loudly you told all your cute and funny jokes to your girlfriend. It was very charming and now we all know how lucky that lady is to have you!

Cute Cellphone Girls at the Mall, you...much like "Funny" Guy at Kroger...are clearly very cute and funny. I know this because as you walk slowly through the mall, you twirl your hair and talk really cute baby talk on the cell phone.

Sheesh.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-11-12T17:38:00.004-06:00

Sort of.

Nahhh....it's been a great day!

But I do believe that I've come to the point in my life where it's pretty much just another day.

We were going to go out to dinner, but I nothing was really 'grabbing me' and as I drove home from work, I decided that I'd really rather stay home and cook. I like cooking and find it pretty relaxing, so there ya go.

It just so happens that a couple boys at school share my birthday with me. One of them came into my room on Tuesday and asked me what I was going to "bring" to school as a treat on my birthday. I told him I hadn't really planned on anything and asked him what he was going to do...he said he was bringing CUPCAKES (he was kinda excited)! Then he suggested I bring some juice. Totally cracked me up. But I stopped at Kroger on my way to work and got us some fruit punch and orange drink. That's what you're supposed to drink with cupcakes, right?

Of course, as soon as he got to school, this student came in my room and asked if I remembered to bring juice, because he'd brought 3 KINDS OF CUPCAKES! Chocolate with chocolate frosting, lemon with lemon frosting and white with white frosting. He was VERY excited about the cupcakes.

The best part is that while I'm celebrating my 41st, this kid - excited about cupcakes and juice - is celebrating his 18th! I hope he never loses his enthusiasm for cupcakes.

My husband also sent me flowers at work. He's probably only done this 3 or 4 times in 16 years of marriage because he knows I'm not crazy about flowers (I like them, but they've kind seemed frivolous to me). Each time he's done it, it's been a huge surprise and lots of fun. This year he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him nothing...don't buy me anything, I can't think of anything. And I really meant it!

So, the card on the flowers read:

"These are not for your birthday"

and that's it!

He knows me so well.

Friend School

2009-11-11T12:59:00.002-06:00

Is there such a thing? If there is, I'd like to enroll myself. I, obviously, haven't the first clue about how to be a good friend. I continue to fail at being a true friend. I think I need to have someone objectively evaluate my interpersonal skills, I didn't think I was doing that bad, but it's come to my attention that I'm mistaken.

Granted, I've never had lots of girl friends...never been one to be part of a big gaggle of girls. I feel more comfortable with a few close friends. Now, I know I can't be a completely intolerable person...I'm still very close with the first friend I made on my dorm floor in 1986. My other long-term friendship is with the wife of one of Mr. Rix's closest friend...we've been tight since the early 90's.

I've also been married for almost 16 years. Granted, my husband is a hugely tolerant man...but still, I must have SOME redeeming qualities.

But it's evident to me that I need some pointers on how to meet the needs of my friends so that they will understand how much I value their friendship and appreciate their presence in my life.

If you have the number of a good Friend School, lemme know.

The Cabin

2009-11-09T17:07:00.004-06:00

When I was first pregnant with Sam, my Father-in-Law had just retired from almost 40 years as a teacher. He and my mother-in-law bought a cabin in Montello, Wisconsin on Lake Puckaway. It wasn't really a cabin, it was a two bedroom house on a double lot. He was insane about The Cabin.

They'd had it for not quite a year when Mr.Rix and I (and Sam) moved up to WI with nary a dime. We stayed at The Cabin for about 3 months. Mr. Rix drove 100 miles round trip and I stayed at The Cabin with a newborn. Of course, the setting wasn't ideal, I was quite a ways away from our Hemophilia Treatment Center (90 miles, to be exact). My newborn hadn't really had any bleeds, but I knew they were coming. And I was more or less, living with my Father-in-Law.

We eventually moved out of The Cabin and in to Oshkosh where we stayed for almost a decade. But we spent as much time as we could at The Cabin. It was only an hour from our house so getting away for the weekend was easy. We helped take care of The Cabin when Mr. Rix's folks couldn't get up there.

My Father-in-Law spent as much time at The Cabin as possible. He drove up and stayed for weeks on end...I think that's how he stayed married during his retirement.

Since Dad passed away, Mom has been saddled with handling The Cabin. The roof of the garage caved in due to heavy snow last winter. The roof of of The Cabin started leaking. Not good.

So, she put it on the market. And it's been on the market for some time (stupid depression). We hadn't been up there since before Dad died.

Last month we took a long weekend and went back. Jesus it was hard. I was in tears as we pulled into the driveway. The boys ran into the house and Sam just kept going on and on about how good it smelled. Nat hit the closet and dug into the toys that have been their since he was an infant. And all I could do was feel so sad.

We made the absolute most of our weekend.

It was bittersweet. We remember how much we LOVE spending time there, but we just can't afford to buy the cabin from Mom. And there's a good chance that we won't get up there again. We hope she can sell it before winter sets in, but the thought of not being able to go up there is awful.

I'M BACK!

2009-11-09T12:37:00.002-06:00

After much consideration, I've decided that I'm more comfortable working with Blogger for all my blogging needs. I seem to be able to work with all the different elements more effectively with blogger than with Wordpress.

So, there ya have it! Everything comes full circle!

Is this True?

2009-11-03T06:13:00.000-06:00

My husband had some training yesterday. According to him, it was at the former White School, now owned by OSF in an urban area of Peoria. He tells me that the students who used to go to White School had a mascot...the White Knights.

Is this true? A public school that served a large African American population...The White Knights???

And people around here wonder why the minority community thinks the rest of us are cluess....

The White Knights of White School...good grief.

**updated...well, a friend confirmed that they were the White Knights but that the neighborhood wasn't predominately Black back in the day. Where there SOME Black kids that went there? I'm assuming so. Therefore, my disbelief still stands! (Although, seeing as the Pekin had the "Pekin Chinks" until the 1980s, how surprised should I REALLY be?)

From the Trenches

2009-10-14T11:36:00.000-05:00

I gotta start writing this shit down before I forget it.

So, today's gems....

Today there was lengthy conversation between our Student Body and our Fearless Administrator. She outlined a few new rules. One of them being that the staff coffee pot is off-limits to students. No more making hot chocolate or Ramen noodles in the coffee pot. Three hours later one of our little peaches MADE RAMEN NOODLES IN THE COFFEE POT. When confronted with the error of his ways, he threw a temper tantrum. He called his dad. Then he tried to SWITCH Ramen Noodle preparation vessels. When our Administrator took the whole shebang away from him (by this time, lunch was over) he threw the lid to the coffee pot across the room. The noodles were transferred to a zip-top bag for later.

However, now we can't find the coffee carafe. The little fucker hid it somewhere in the building.

Also during that same conversation, a few select students learned that they were perilously close to being dropped from the program for gross insubordination, lack of effort and sundry other offenses. Of course, the students in question were aghast at the suggestion they were anything less than shining stars.

One lad was so upset at the suggestion he wasn't trying hard to succeed that he left the room with a jolly "Suck My Dick"! (I can see that we have mistakenly characterized his efforts.)

Another fellow was similarly upset. He proceeded to rant and rave all during lunch break. I made the observation that perhaps this was an opportunity for him to re-evaluate his behavior and make some changes. He vehemently disagreed....he proclaimed that everyone loves him, he's popular and his life is going just fine. I had to disagree with the "my life is great" assumption given that this young man is currently on house arrest and is adorned with an ankle bracelet AND attending the expelled kid's school!

Another day, another buck fifty.

Part 2

2009-10-13T10:14:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the hiatus.

So, my meeting with my long lost gal pal left me feeling a bit inadequate. She's really skinny. When I first got back, I was kind of wrapped up in the fact that she looks so great. We shared quite a bit about how our kids are...our oldest's are close in age. As teen boys they have similar interests...video games. And they both are musicians.

I was overwhelmed by how insanely crazy active she is. As our time together wore on, it became obvious that some of her ups and downs with marriages have brought about some neurosis (duh). She's a clean freak....like OCD clean freak. She shared that she's struggled with NOT going overboard with dieting. And it was obvious (since we ate all our meals out) that she's got food "issues".

At the time and for a week or so afterwards, I was preoccupied with how she's managed to stay thin. And how her house is spotless. I figured that seeing me again after all these years was probably a big let down. Here, she lives in Florida, has a house with a pool, takes fun weekend trips, etc. I'm a frumpy fat housewife. She works at Disneyworld and has access to lots of fun stuff. Me, no.

I think that's why I didn't write about our reunion sooner.

Now that some time has passed, I realize that my old friend and I each have our "shtick". Although I'd really enjoy being thin again, I think my friend's life seems exhausting!

That's the long awaited part to of my non-drama drama.

I have more to write about...other things. But I had to get that out of the way first.

Paths

2009-09-26T08:24:00.000-05:00

I spent last weekend in sunny Ft. Lauderdale tending to some work and catching up with my Bleeding Disorders Family. I ALSO had a chance to meet up with my very first BFF. But let me back track...

Anne moved to our little neighborhood the summer before 4th grade. She's just a month younger than me but because of her birthdate, she was a year behind me in school. It's safe to say that we were BEST friends from day one. (She says I was staring at them as they moved the boxes off the truck...)

We were inseparable. Very different young ladies, but best of buds. She was way more in to pink, long fingernails and curling irons than I ever was. I was our ticket to neighborhood baseball games with the boys, the tree fort in the woods and finding ways around our mother's watchful eyes. Of course we fought like...well, like girls fight. But there was never a time when we didn't have each others backs. She had boyfriends and I was the 3rd wheel...but the boys she liked had to (at least) tolerate me. She dragged me along as we drove back and forth past their houses and I was her go-to girl for prank phone calls.

The summer between my freshman and sophomore year, Anne's family moved to Connecticut. I was devastated. It was awful. She came back to visit a couple times, I wrote her letters, she called.

2 years later her family moved back to the Midwest - Michigan. And so began the days of us meeting 1/2 way. My mom would drive me half way then Anne and I would head back to her new home in Niles, MI. I spent weeks on end with Anne. It was absolutely awesome. We explored her new town met new friends...just great.

we managed to stay pretty close as we both did our thing in college.

I was married in late 1993, she was married in 1994 and that was, literally, the last time we saw each other. Years past and there was an occasional phone call...our oldest children were born about 4 days apart. Her youngest and my youngest were born on the SAME DAY, 3 years apart.

This summer I tracked my long lost buddy down via facebook and we made plans to meet while I was in Ft. Lauderdale.

I'm still processing the visit...it was just great. We talked and laughed for about 22 hours out of the 28 we spent together. The things that made us besties are still there...but the things that always made us different seem to have taken strange turns.

This is gonna have to be a 2 parter.....

Fuck this Bullshit

2009-09-14T16:20:00.000-05:00

You know what? I DO think that there is a very large segment of the population that is hoping that President Obama fails simply because he's black. Part black. 1/2 Black. Brown skinned. You name it. I really, really believe that if he was white and doing the exact same things he's doing/has done, the volume of the ranting and raving would be at a 6 instead of 11.

You know what else? I don't care if my President did drugs when he was in high school. Honestly? I don't believe anyone who says they didn't...at least once. Drank underage? Had sex before they got married? I don't fucking care.

Do I (or anyone who voted for Obama) think he is the Messiah? Fuck no. First of all, that would mean that I ascribe to some sort of voo-doo magic religion bullshit. (Sorry Gramma Mary). The only Messiah that appeals to me is Handel's. Give me a fucking break.

Each side wants to line shit up and do a "tit for tat"....she blew him, he fucked her. Are you kidding? Talk a walk down your block, you're neighbor's a meth-head. Your doctor snorts coke. Your Judge is fucking the clerk. Give me a break.

Here's what I want....

FIX THIS FUCKING SHIT. Make sure my kids can get insurance. Fine the bastards who pollute the inner cities and fuck over all the poor kids. Fund my program so that I can have a real school with real internet. Pay my co-workers (who work with the kids no one else wants) MORE THAN $30K a year!

I don't care how you do it...I don't care who you piss off...stand the fuck up and DO SOMETHING.

Unexpected

2009-09-09T14:48:00.000-05:00

This month is our in between month. 5 years ago last month we sold our house up North and bought our house here. 5 years ago next month we will have officially relocated here.

5 years ago this month I was packing up our home preparing for a move.

6 years ago I thought our life was set.

I'm a jumble.

Boundaries

2009-08-15T01:52:00.000-05:00

I'm setting some. Again. Sheesh. It seems I have some difficulties with establishing boundaries, maintaining boundaries and respecting other people's boundaries.

So, I'm going to spend this fall redefining what's acceptable and allowable and what's not. I'm a horribly emotional and reactive person. I'm passionate about things and my passion often clouds my judgement and prevents me from being objective. This is especially true when it come to politics, my kids, my family and my career.

I'm not always very good a agreeing to disagree and I often get bullheaded in the hopes that my "adversary" will just relent. I'm not proud of this behavior but it's a habit. I'm going to work on that. And it coincides with one of my boundaries. There's not much point arguing or debating with anyone who isn't interested in hearing the other side or actually researching their position. It's often easy to figure out in a discussion if a person falls into that catagory or doesn't. So, I'm going to stop banging my head against a wall and just not discuss those things with folks I meet who aren't open to a dialogue that includes facts and rational reasoning (and yes, I understand that this is completely subjective on my part, but it's my boundary, I get to be subjective).

I enjoy my job very much. But I have a terrible habit of getting over-invested in my students. Just can't do that anymore, either. I'm going to have to leave work stuff at work this year. Obviously that's the nature of education. I've yet to meet a good teacher who DOESN'T get emotionally invested...especially with the types of students I've worked with all through my career.

This kind of thing is what made me eager to leave the profession for nearly 10 years. I didn't think I could be emotionally present for my students and equally emotionally present for my own children. I thought I'd prefer not teaching. Now I know that's not true. It's not teaching that wipes me out, it's the 'other stuff' that gets to me. So, I'm out. I'm going to make a concerted effort to leave my student's issues and work stuff at work so that I can be totally present and available for my OWN family. Shees....I have an 8th grader! Before I know it, he'll be out the door and I'll be a blubbery mess.

Maintaining these boundaries is gonna be tricky. But for my own sanity, it's gotta happen. And my friends know how little sanity there actually IS in my head so I'm sure they'll appreciate any that I'm able to salvage!

Healthcare

2009-08-13T02:23:00.000-05:00

Again, enough is enough. Those who don't support healthcare reform certainly have the right to oppose it...but let's use some FACTS people. What is with simply believing everything reported on FauxNews?

Health care reform is, obviously, near and dear to my heart. Our family has been intimately affected by the the problems that exist within our current health care system. I have close friends who have been adversely affected by the state of health care in this country.

When we lived in Wisconsin, my husband's employer (a hospital) had good insurance. In fact, it was one of the reasons he chose to take the job he was offered. Over 10 years, the policy changed...premiums went up and up, a lifetime cap was implemented, access to specialists was limited, choices were eliminated. For several years, his cost of living raises were LESS than the increases in the premium he paid. So, over time, we received LESS health care and paid MORE for it.

Further, Wisconsin's "safety net" for children who have special health care needs isn't very good. If we had needed to avail ourselves of that program, upon our children's death, the program would have gone after their estate(s) in order to have their estates pay BACK any monies they would have used from the program.

Reform has got to happen.

My children are 11 and 13. They are the age where they should believe that anything is possible. Any career or dream is within their reach. But ask them what they want to be when they grow up and they'll tell you "Rock Stars but we have to have another job, too, so that we can have insurance." This should be heartbreaking to anyone who hears it. We are a middle class, working family. Our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles are all working class people who spent their lives contributing to society. I come from a family of community volunteers, union workers, public servants, GI's, and private businessmen. I have NO doubt that their hearts would break if they were alive to see members of their family struggling to maintain health care.

I have a close friend who has severe hemophilia, the hepatitis alphabet soup (hepatitis A,B, and C) and is HIV positive. The hepatitis and HIV were contracted from the medicine used to treat his hemophilia...medicine that the government KNEW was infected but failed to act quickly on. He contracted the viruses in his teens. He shares that in college, he didn't figure he'd live past 22 so he made the most of it. Minus intimate relationships. No one knew about his Hepatitis and HIV status. He's 34 now. He's married to a wonderful woman. But he constantly must worry about insurance. He works in public health. He's capped out a couple insurance policies (capped out - reached his lifetime cap). He's had to choose between taking the medicines that keep his viral load under control and the medicines that keep his bleeds (from hemophilia) under control. He has devoted his life to public service but has been forced to take a job doing something else in order to stay alive.

What is wrong with this country?

I know a husband and wife who have a child with hemophilia. The husband is your typical blue collar worker. He lost his job. He lost his insurance. His wife worked part time. They didn't qualify for the public insurance program in their state. They were forced to file for divorce so that, on paper, the mother would have limited resources and thus qualify for the state catastrophic insurance pool.

I'm happy that there are individuals out there who have never been affected by the current state of affairs...yet. But sooner or later they will be.

Take it from those of us who have been impacted by this country's current health care system, change is immanent. Those of us who are advocating for change aren't doing it just for ourselves, we're doing it for our children, our neighbors...YOUR children, YOUR neighbors.

If you don't think the current plan for reform is good, take some time to inform yourself. Learn more. Don't succumb to the knee-jerk reaction that change is bad. Change IS going to happen. Reform IS occurring.

Hoochies

2009-08-10T09:33:00.000-05:00

Alright. I'm SO not the kind of parent who is hypervigilant about what my boys watch on t.v. We don't really censor their music and we (I don't think) aren't over the top about what they can't watch in terms of movies and such. We DO have the parental lock on the t.v. to block shows TV-14 and up. And honestly? Even that made us both a bit uncomfortable.

We've always parented from the standpoint of: this is the culture/society/time in which we live; kids are done a disservice if they're constantly sheltered.

I have to say, though, it's getting awfully difficult to teach my male children to be respectful and (appropriately) reverent of the opposite sex when they see images of pre-teens and teens "on the pole". My fellow blogger, EmergePeoria brings up the most recent assault on young girls in discussing Miley Cyrus' performance at the Teen Choice Awards. A stripper pole? Really? I understand that she's becoming a young lady and that her performances will reflect this growth and development.

But wait. This is Nickelodeon. This is the Rugrats network. The Powerpuff Girls. You Can't Do That on T.V. The only slime I thought was on that network was the stuff dumped on some pre-teen's head.

What gives?

I'm trying REALLY hard to guide my boys towards an appreciate of the opposite sex for more than the ole 'hubba hubba' that pre-teen and teen boys hold so dear. "I'll bet she has a good sense of humor." "It's cool that she does so well on Scholastic Bowl." "Isn't it cool that you guys have been in band together for so long?"

I'm not a prude. But this is getting ridiculous.

Boys vs. Girls

2009-08-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

We went "school clothes" shopping today. At least what my boys consider school clothes shopping. I left the store feeling a bit empty and unfulfilled.

No one cried. No one stomped out of the store. Not once did I hear "But that's UGLY". No piles of clothes on the dressing room floor.

We went to the shoe department, each boy found a pair of shoes they liked. They tried them on and that was that. One pair.

They each found a pair of shorts they liked, one shirt they liked a bag of new socks and proclaimed they were done.

I always knew boys had it easier than girls.

A Little Dose of Nutty...

2009-08-02T08:26:00.000-05:00

Goes a long way. But hey, who hasn't taken a ride on the crazy train now and then?

School's just around the corner and the kids are actually looking forward to it starting. Me? Not so much. My building's really hot without a/c. And since July has been more like Mid-October, I'm sure it'll actually be 95 IN October. We've also learned that our program's budget has been cut by 33%. How you cut 33% from nothing, I'm not sure.

Maybe we'll go without workbooks and worksheets this year. Oh wait. We don't use those anyway. Maybe we'll just go to "brown bag" lunches for our lunch program this year. Oh wait. We don't have a lunch program. Maybe we could cut back on copies and such. Oh wait, we don't have a proper copy machine.

Obviously very few of the people writing the budget actually have a clue about the programs they've gutted. I wonder how many of those folks in Springfield have ever actually visited a Regional Safe School Program. I'll bet I can count the number on no fingers.

Just a normal year in educating At-Risk Youth.

(P.S. The Crazy? I'm gonna Blame it on the moon...a full one's coming on Thursday)

Advice?

2009-07-31T05:57:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who is in an abusive relationship. The relationship began about 18 months ago; it took an abusive turn almost immediately (he paid a cab driver to tell him if she took lots of men home).

I've distanced myself from my friend for a couple reasons. First, I don't want anything to do with her boyfriend. We had previously spent time together and had a great time. The FIRST time she called me to talk about his awful ways, I said get out. Each time she's taken him back and made excuses (as virtually all abused women and men do). I have continued to support her and offer her words of encouragement and advice. In part because she has a pre-teen son who has become attached to this man.

She most recently phoned me in the dead of night after having called the police because this man attempted to kill her and then violated her sexually. I heard her talk to the police and accept the information they gave her about domestic abuse.

I thought that this would be the end. But I've learned that it's not. She is still "in a relationship" with him.

So, I've kept my distance and I know she knows why. I don't answer her phone calls and I avoid her offers of getting together. I don't what her boyfriend to know anything about me. I believe he is a sociopath who has become more and more unpredictable, I want nothing to do with him.

I've been in abusive relationships myself. I know how difficult it is to remove one's self from the clutches of an abuser. I was her friend, adviser and supporter for nearly a year as she worked through her issues with him. I don't want to do that anymore. My words fall in deaf ears (of course). I have also talked to her about seeking help.

Do I tell my friend to lose my number until she loses her sex-addicted, physically abusive boyfriend? How can I make her understand that although I care about her and her son, I cannot be party to the drama because when I am, I worry about her well being and safety? I also need her to know that when she's completely ready to excise this monster from her life, I'll be the first one to help.

Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom?

Airshow

2009-07-11T09:21:00.000-05:00

We have plans to go see the Peoria Airshow tomorrow...our friends' backyard is awfully close to the airport.

I've heard that the airshow down here is wonderful...it always gets rave reviews. I've never been much of a plane enthusiast. But I love a good airshow.

However, we lived in the flight line of the largest airshow in the world for about 9 years.

The home of the Experimental Aircraft Association is in Oshkosh, WI - our former home. We didn't know this when we first moved up that way but it became pretty evident the first summer we lived in Northeast Wisconsin that something was going on.

The first summer we were up there, we stayed at my in-laws cabin about 50 miles straight west of Oshkosh; the cabin was totally in line with the approach of the airport for small planes and homebuilts. It was awesome.

When we moved into Oshkosh, we still didn't give the airshow much thought. Until about midsummer. At that point we began to appreciate what was happening in our town of 60,000.

AirVenture is one of the most amazing experiences we've every witnessed. Every summer, from the last weekend in July through the first week of August, Oshkosh, WI becomes a mecca for airplane enthusiasts throughout the world. 800,000 people descend upon the community. Many of them fly their own aircraft onto the premises and camp right there beside their planes!

People come to volunteer at the event from all across the world. After all, volunteers receive free passes to all the events.

I can't begin to describe the magnitude of this experience. The EAA has also done wonderful things to promote the hobby of aviation in and around the community and the world.

Anyone who is crazy about aviation should make a point to head 5 hours north to Oshkosh, WI and experience this spectacular event. It's impossible to get hotel rooms within an hour of the site unless you make your reservations a year in advance. Many locals rent out their private homes to visitors for very reasonable prices. The UW-Ohkosh allows attendees to stay in the dorms and provides shuttles to and from.

My kids have sat in the driver's seats of a Warthog, and an F-14. We saw the B-17 walked through a carrier (Hercules). We touched B-17, B-25, B-24, B-29, B-52, P-5, Corsiar planes. We got to climb up and look at the cockpit of a Mig-21, and water planes (BPYs) We saw the Concord and walked among the most complete collection of Warbirds gathered in one place. We've veiwed the SR-71, the Stealth Fighters and Bombers. And every single experienmental aircraft and homebuilt one could imgine. Harrison Ford, John Denver, JFK Jr. were present at the EAA when we were and Jimmy Buffet was a frequent attendee. For the planes that we toured that are still in action? The pilots where their in their flight uniforms answering all our questions.

Most spectacular, to me, were the Warbirds. There were planes from every country and every war. Many of the men who had restored these planes flew them or fought against them. All the Warbirds were flown in...they weren't just there as "showpieces" but as working examples. Each day there was a Warbird show along with a mock bombing. We were sooo lucky that our house was, again, in the flight line of this show. They flew so low and were so close that it was impossible to talk on the phone or carry on a conversation during the time they prepared their formations. My husband found it a little surreal to be driving home from work while Japanese and German fighter planes flew in formation over our town.

I remember going to the show with my Father-in-Law; he taught high school history for 39 years. Just watching him walk amongst history, on the verge of tears, was amazing.

The boys have their memories of the time we were given passes and sat on the runway during one of the airshows. Amazing.

This is "airshow" time of year for many communities. If you're an aviation nut and live in the midwest, I can't tell you how awesome the AirVenture Airshow truly is. Oshkosh is a great community and would make a wonderful family destination. It's not too far from The Dells...all ya'll airplane geeks should go to at least one AirVenture.

(If you want some inside info, drop me a line.)

Whew

2009-07-04T15:08:00.000-05:00

Palin resigned. Thank goodness.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that this election cycle saw two women in the fray. And I'm hardly an objective observer of what happens in the GOP; I'm a staunch liberal. Having a woman as a VP candidate was awesome...just not HER. I know lots of conservative women and Palin hardly represents them. I think her rise was a huge slap in the face to other strong female conservatives. Hello? Olympia Snow? Marilyn Musgrave? Lynn Jenkins? C'mon. Sarah Palin is the best they could toss out there?

Hardly. And people saw through the ruse. Sarah's a cute, folksy, evangelical christain politician. The good ole boys of the GOP saw an opportunity to pander to hard core conservatives and ran with it. As much as I hate to admit it, I'd have voted for Elizabeth Dole (despite her reign of incompetence at the Red Cross) before Palin.

But now she's gone. And people are wringing their hands because the "liberal" media was so hard on her. Again...HELLO? Any candidate is going to be put through the ringer. Male...Female...it doesn't matter. If you wanna play in the big leagues, you sure as hell should be ready to handle every pitch thrown your way (see...I can use sports metaphors just like Sarah!) The media sure has had a field day with her, but that's only because there's just SO MUCH to dig up!

Hillary Clinton not only withstood the scrunity of eight years as First Lady but she's also survived being a senator and the number 2 contendor for the Democratic nomination...lover or hate her, she's got more balls that many of her male collegues.

I have been especially troubled by her behavior regarding her special needs child. Anyone who's raised a kid with special needs knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about, too.

Bleh. Goodbye...doncha know? We hardly knew ya.

Of Note

2009-06-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

The boys are enjoying their newly shorn locks....especially Nat:

We've all settled into that place during summer vacation where we have to ask each other "What day is it?"

This weekend #2 saw a very, very skinny lady in the parking lot of a local store and said "I think she's ambidextrous"....it took a minute or two to realize he meant anorexic.

We camped for a week and realized that we're getting too fucking old to sleep on the ground, even with an air mattress.

Race

2009-06-12T13:13:00.000-05:00

This is a rambling....stream of consciousness post. Thoughts I've had rolling around.

When I was little...like 8 years old till I graduated high school, my mom's best friend was Judy*. I could never really figure out why they were such good friends because they didn't seem to have a lot in common. Judy's kids where much older than me (her daughter babysat me but mostly my much younger siblings). Her husband was a pig Veterinarian for DeKalb Agriculture; DeKalb Ag (the flying ear of corn) had their national headquarters in my home town and the company was a huge employer in my area. Harry was well regarded in his field and DeKalb Ag bred swine and chicken and sold the breeds to many, many countries. Harry was well regarded and held in high esteem.

Harry also had a penchant for telling racist jokes. But I was little and I didn't know any better. I very much remember sharing one of those jokes with my classmates, during class, and although a few of my classmates (probablly 5th or 6th grade) may have chuckled, Mr. Strain surely did not. He didn't say a word to me but his look spoke volumes. To be fair, Harry also told jokes about "Dagos", "WOPs", and "Chinks".

I wonder, now, what he must have thought about my parents when they came in for parent/teacher conferences. After all, my parents never said such things but they certainly didn't pull me aside, after Harry had left, to tell me that I'd better not ever repeat such a thing. I do remember my mom being surprised that another couple they were friends with was getting divorced...then she said "Italians make great lovers, maybe he's loving too many." (Kinda funny I ended up marrying a 2nd generation Italian boy, 16 years and going strong...I won't comment on the 'lover' part!)

I grew up thinking that my parents were pretty cool, sort of hippies. They (along with another guy) owned rental property in our hometown and eventually sold the building to the black family that had lived in the bottom unit for years and years. Surely my parents weren't racist. They had a black tenant.

My hometown was pretty small, my graduating class was about 180. We had more black kids in our class than my own kids do. In third grade, I wanted Mrs. Bridgewater for my teacher instead of Mrs. Kincaid...Mrs. Bridgewater is black...Mrs. Kincaid was just an old biddy. Becky and David were part of the circle of friends I ran around with. They are black; they were adopted by white families and had siblings of every color, too. Denise, Latonia, Dwight...they were friends as well. They weren't part of the group I ran around with but I had classes with them and one is even a facebook friend. Race just didn't seem an issue. My best friend in Jr. High was Patricia...she's Korean. There were a couple boys, Aaron and Andy, who are Jewish...I don't remember it being "a thing".

I do remember senior year that there was a chance that David was going to ask me to prom. When my mom asked me if I thought I'd have a date, I said that David might ask me. He'd been my partner all through the "social dance" unit in P.E. that spring and we ran in the same group; he didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't have a boyfriend, it was a possibility (one that I wished was true...he was pretty freakin' cute). All I know is that as soon as I mentioned the possibility of going to prom with David, my folks had an awful lot to say about the matter. And I was shocked.

I did my thing in college, had friends of every color, dated all sorts of boys, hung out on Greek Row and the bar scene. I got a kick out of the Alpha Phi Alpha's making their pledges step in the MLK commons. I thought nothing of the Black Student Union or the Asian Studies stuff. To each his own.

I graduated and taught in the south suburbs of Chicago and spent time in Country Club Hills, University Heights, Oak Forest, Tinley Park, Orland Park, Robbins, Crestwood...the works. I lived at 159th and Cicero...far from being the inner-city, but it was certainly adjacent to some notoriously rough areas. I never, ever felt afraid. I visited friends in Wicker Park (before it became a cool place to be) and hung out with one of my college girls who lived in Rodgers Park (when it was still, very much, gang heavy). My Puerto Rican BFF taught me how to say "Don't fuck with me" in spanish and all was good.

It's only been in the last couple years of my 3rd decade and the first year of my 4th that I've ever, every felt the weight of race on a community. Maybe I've been living blind. Maybe having children who are finally old enough to understand and be heavily influenced by their peers am I more acutely aware. I don't think so.

My oldest, Sam, has a friend - who's been a friend since not long after we moved here - who's friendship he's reconsidering. This boy Jack* is a smart kid and comes from a normal family. Sam reports that Jack makes all sorts of (in his words) stupid comments all the time. Stuff like "quit being a Jew" and stuff like that. He also makes sexist comments. Sam's come home week after week and shared how much it bothers him when his friend says that shit. We've talked about how letting this boy say those things without anyone calling him on it is tacit approval. My son assures us that he tells his 'friend' to knock it off and has even began to distance himself from this boy.

Sam's also noticed that the couple of boys who are really good athletes and also not white seem to have a greater leeway in terms of behavior and he's wondered if teachers are afraid to call these boys on their behavior because of their athletic status. In fact, Sam's said "If I said some of the things ______ says I'd get in big trouble because I'm not a jock."

Unfortunately, we happen to live in a county that is notoriously racist (Matt Hale) and I think that may weigh heavily on the minds of school administrators. Maybe a couple of these boys get "a pass" because they're athletes. Maybe they get a pass because they're one of a handful of minority kids in a predominantly white, racist county. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

What I notice most are the little, seemingly inconsequential things that people say. The off handed remarks about the "South End" of Peoria. Or when my students talk about seeing a black kid walking through Pekin (a town around here with a bad reputation). Sometimes I hear people say "They"....like "THEY" know better than to live in Tazewell County.

Or when I hear someone say "THEY" are 'so sexual' they way 'they' dance and talk. I know my peers are only reacting to the way they've been brought up. And as I write these sentences I know there's a very good chance that people will read this and know I'm recounting things I've heard them say. They should know that I'm proud that they are more aware of the things they say...I really don't think people are inherently bad for thoughts and feelings they've lived with forever. Really.

I, not so long ago, pointed out that on a form where respondents need to identify race (for state recording purposes) that the term "mixed" might be offensive. One night Mr. Rix and I met some friends for drinks at a local watering hole. Mr. Rix left early and my good friend offered to drive me home. Her fiance (who isn't white) opted to sit in the backseat of the care as she drove me up Rt. 116 because we knew there was a police checkpoint and he felt we'd have less a chance of being stopped if he slunk down in his seat as we passed through it. Seeing as he's lived here his whole life, I believed him. But that whole experience as well as a couple other things involving my good buddy make me know that he's much wiser than I.

I don't know if race relations are worse in my new home or if I've somehow become more attuned. We've only lived here for 3 1/2 years and maybe my contact with the greater community is limited. But I noticed very early on that things are different here compared to the other communities in which I've lived.

And I think it's pretty fucking shitty.

*Names may or may not have been changed.

The First Cut is the Deepest * X2

2009-06-10T07:01:00.000-05:00

#2 has been itching for a mohawk since the last week of school. His BFF came to school with one and #2 thought it was way cool.

So today we did the deed.

Here are the before are the before and afters.

I think it turned out really cute. Woops, I mean handsome.

Now #1 is contemplating doing the same thing.

Update....#1went for it and cut his too:

Too short for "Locks of Love"...and he didn't want to give it 3 more inches.

It's going to take some getting used to.

Happy Monday

2009-06-08T06:44:00.000-05:00

At least it's going to be for SOMEONE!

The dude behind me in line at our local superstore had 4 things to purchase:

Listerine

Hair Color for Men

2 bottles of 5 Hour Energy Boost

Personal Lubrication

Who says Monday's have to be lame?

Fishing

2009-06-05T15:10:00.000-05:00

We tried to do that today.

See? Mr. Rix caught me a delicious bass. It doesn't quite reach the bottom of his untucked t-shirt (the gold standard for fish size).

I took that picture, turned around to put the camera on the picnic table and grab my pole (huh, huh) and Mr. Rix says "SHIT. I just cut my leg, can you hand me something?".

I tossed him a towel expecting a scrape. Nope, it's a gaping puncture wound.

So we had to leave.

He always has to make sure he catches the biggest fish.

(And, of course, he requested the nurse's outfit once we got home.)

PABA's

2009-05-31T09:38:00.000-05:00

I'm here to announce the first ever "Peoria Area Blogger Awards".

I can't believe no one ever thought of this before. Maybe they did. I also need a nifty little graphic button to go along with these here awards, so someone needs to get on that.

At this time, I am accepting nominations as well as catagory names. I know lots and lots of bloggers in the area and am proud to call them friend, but there are probably a lot more I've never met.

Now, remember, these awards are all in fun and it's always an honor just to me nominated.

Here are some catagories I have in mind:

Best Looking blogger....based entirely on the picture posted on their "About Me" page

Funniest Blogger

Blogger I need a Dictionary to Keep Up With

The "Keep Me Out of It" Blogger

Biggest Ego Blogger

Blogger with the Foulest Mouth

Best Mommyblogger

Blogger Most Likely to be a Serial Killer (past, present or future)

Most Self-Important Blogger (that could also go to the Blogger with the Biggest Ego...)

Anyway, these are just a few. So, let's open this up for categories, first. Post your category possibilities in the comments section...anonymous posts are welcome, IP addresses will not be divulged.

(And I'm totally serious....)

Nominations will follow

Dear Peoria Pundit,

2009-05-31T05:36:00.000-05:00

We've frittered away a day. And what a gorgeous day it was. I spent the better part of it repotting plants, sweeping my deck and my patio. I helped my children make lemonade and watched my oldest son help my husband mow the yard.

My youngest son slept very late today because he was up late at a slumber party the night before.

I cleaned my cat's litter box and played fetch with my dog.

I payed bills, phoned friends and family.

I planted more vegetables in the containers we bought at the garden store yesterday. My youngest and I had already planted peas, beans and tomatos...all that was left was radishes.

As a family, we saw a good 3-D movie yesterday. After the movie, we all enjoyed a great meal of pasta...my husband and my son put the sauce together in the morning and it cooked all day.

All the windows in the house were open today and there was a wonderful breeze throughout the house. I spent a couple hours reading on the swing that sits on my deck.

Unfortunately, my husband had to work (it is his Sunday to work this month) but we did spend time together before he left. As usual, he gave me a nice smooch before he went to work and we agreed that we wished he could stay home.

Later, I cooked dinner for my children and a neighbor boy ate with us, too. We had chicken breasts and a nice salad and the lemonade we'd made earlier.

Once the sun set, the boys took the trash out for their dad so he wouldn't have to get up extra early.

There were a couple things that almost ruined the day for me, but you know what? None of that matters. It was a good day in the "real" world.

In fact, it was a really, really beautiful day.

Name

2009-05-27T13:08:00.000-05:00

I've had some doozies hurled my way since I started teaching at the alternative school.

Today, though, was the best. So far.

A young man was sharing with me that he aspires to spend his adulthood in the World Series of Poker and make 12 Millioin Dollars.

I suggested that by bombing 7th grade math this semester, he didn't bring himself any closer to that goal.

He did not agree.

In fact, he called me:

The Cunt Who Pissed on His Dream

It's the last day of school....my mom always told me that good things come to those who wait. She was totally right.

Shit

2009-05-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

I don't know how this happened.

As of October 2009, I'll have lived here in the greater Peoria area for 4 years. By some bizarre twist of kismet I've made some of the most amazing friends.

The whole notion of me making new and close friends is fucked up because normally I shy away from people. But somehow I've found myself surrounded at work and especially at play with wonderful, kind, loving, intelligent and insightful individuals who make me laugh everyday.

I just thought you should know.

Notoriously Abrasively Yours,

Rix

Miracle on George Street

2009-05-20T07:20:00.000-05:00

I hereby attest that all I am about to write is true. I have many witnesses (several of whom wish a video tape was running so that we'd be in the running for 100K on America's Funniest Home Video.)

I have to give a little back story....

Back story part one: A good friend donated a butt load of Christmas decorations and other school supplies for my school, back near the actual holiday. Included in the donation were several children's books. I held on to the books and stuck 'em in a bag for another good friend. The bag was in the back of my "Scooby" van for months. Then when we purchased our new van, I just moved the bag to the back of the NEW van.

Back story part two: #2 son is an animal lover and received a small fishtank for Christmas last year. He's had several fish (goldfish) but as is the case with goldfish, they don't stick around long. We came to call his aquarium "The Tank of Doom". We told him that once the last fish died, he could give reptiles a try. (We had a 4' iguana named Angus up until #1 was born).

Of course, once we made that edict, the last fish wouldn't die. WOULD NOT DIE. "Tom" hung around forever. We finally decided that Tom should go and live at Grandpa Ron's house in his little fish pond.

Now for the real story.

We were at my parents last weekend and dropped Tom into his new environs. He was quite happy. #2 was happy because now this means that he can get a little lizard for his room

Well, I remembered that those books were in my van and since my little nephews were visiting, too, I decided to see if Drew and Lou would like any of them. As I'm going through the bag of books (that's been in one car or another since December), I notice that there's a little plastic lizard in the bag. So, to be silly, I picked up the lizard and sorta went "OH! There's a lizard in the bag" to freak the little ones out.

They didn't notice the 'plastic' lizard so I reached over to grab it and IT WAS ALIVE!!!!! It was a real, live lizard. It started running across the carpet. I screamed, my sister screamed, my brother jumped up and put his foot on it to keep it from running away.

So, if you're following.... we told #2 that he couldn't have a lizard until we got rid of his fish Tom and on THE SAME DAY we gave Tom to Grandpa, we FOUND A LIZARD.

#2 was sure that this was a Miracle.

Plea

2009-05-19T06:34:00.000-05:00

So, #2 received some cash and some gift cards for his birthday and is lobbying for a Nintendo DSi or PSP. Neither Mr. Rix or myself approves of this expenditure. We've also been getting quite tired of the whining and badgering and insisting that "it's MY MONEY." To shut him up, we told him to write a 1,000 word essay on why he should have a PSP.

He spent almost 3 days writing his plea. It's quite compelling. I've decided to share some of it here...

1000 word essay on why I should be allowed to buy a PSP

By [#2]

I think I should be able to buy a PSP because it could help me with my homework because I could look up stuff on the internet.

PSPs also have most of the DS games and many, many more! Having a PSP wouldn’t be just having another gaming system but it would be like having another computer so Sam could have our computer.

PSPs also can play movies so in CJHS on fieldtrips I could watch movies. I should be able to buy a PSP because it is my own hard earned cash. I know you think I am not going to take the time to Write this essay, but I am because the PSP that I can afford is the PSP 3000 the newest version. PSPs have a good name Play Station Portable because that’s exactly what it is, a Portable Play Station that you can carry in your pocket!

If I had a PSP I could check my E-Mail without pestering and asking “Why?” so many times.

I really don’t know why you guys won’t let me get a PSP, because it would be an advantage for you cause’ you would not have to put up with me half as much as you do now. (I would be playing it a lot!) I would love it so much!

I would practice guitar for like 5 hours because I could search for tabs a lot. If I need some sort of book I could just go onto Barns and Noble’s website on the PSP and order it.

Having a PSP would help my reading, literature, and hand eye coordination. If I talked to someone I know and is my friend I could invite them here at our house. If I needed to send Noah an E-Mail about his party I just pick up the PSP send him the message.

If I got Star Wars Battlefront: renegade Squadron and went onto Skype, me and Evan could talk and pwn newbs at the same time!

Remember how I said if I got a PSP Sam could get the computer? Well if I got a PSP and Sam got the computer I would not have to ask and pester you about kicking Sam off the computer and Sam saying “Why?” And I say “Because you’ve been on for an hour!” And you say “Okay neither of you can get on so Sam, GET OFF!!!!!” No more of that! It would be a win, win, win!

I mean seriously why would you turn down that offer?! Why won’t you let me get a PSP? First off, it’s my money. Second it would be a win for you guys. And finally, I have put in all my effort into an essay with 1000 words and an essay with like literally 60 signatures. (IF YOU WON’T LET ME GET A PSP I WILL BE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!) Also if you E-Mail me you can just say, “E-Mail!” and I check My E-Mail and see your message then follow your directions.

If I get a PSP I could and would let mom borrow it if she is going somewhere far away to watch movies. (It is easy to control!) Another reason is I want to fit in because at least 3/4ths of Bolin School (over 200 kids) have a PSP that’s 75% of 200 kids!

you know Dad I bet if I could find a free trial of World of War Craft on the internet you would want to play the PSP, right? I know what you’re saying you’re saying “No I don’t!” But I also know what you’re thinking also, you are thinking, “OMG!! I need a PSP!!!!” don’t say you are not cause’ I know it’s true!

On the sketch star thing I could make you an animation of us driving to game stop and me getting a PSP on the PSP! But if I don’t get one I would make an animation of me sobbing above the clouds making 100 natural disasters and I would literally “cry you a river”.

If Mom wanted a recipe than all I would have to do is Google it and ping! You’ve got it! I hope you acknowledge what I said and allow me to get a PSP.

So there it is. He did a great job of hitting all the angles...

2008-12-11T19:17:00.002-06:00

**I've moved***

http://peoriaspeaks.com/wpmu/rixie/

Huh-Huh

2008-12-05T15:49:00.002-06:00

We took the students to see The Nutcracker today.

At *The Bone.

Good grief.

*That's the name of the Student Center at Illinois State University

SURPRISE!!

2008-12-03T20:24:00.004-06:00

Last weekend my sister-in-law had a surprise 30th birthday party for my little brother.

They've only been married for a few years so I guess she wasn't fully aware of how horribly rotten we all are about surprises. I'm bad...like, find my Christmas presents bad. Like, slip the tape off the wrapped presents and peek bad.

But as bad as I am? My brother is 10 times worse. And of course, we know this about him, but we didn't have the heart to tell our sister-in-law.

So, the task was for us to get my brother out of his house and to my parents house an hour away under the guise of coming to see me and my kids and help my dad with some sort of task.

But we weren't sure how we were going to orchestrate the whole thing. We just knew we had to get him out of HIS house by 4 PM, keep him at my parents house for a few hours and then get him BACK to his house by 8. And he called after my nephew woke up from his nap and told us that the baby had a fever.

Then my sister-in-law called from, I think, her bathroom whispering "He's not going to leave!" And my sister called saying she had the flu and was puking. Then my mom almost set the house on fire...the potholder caught on fire which, in turn, lit the cute little wicker basket she keeps stuff in right next to the gas stove.

Then we finally DID get my brother to come over to help my dad haul bales of hay to the garden. Except when my brother asked my dad if he was ready to move said bales my dad said:

"I'm not moving that hay TONIGHT. It's COLD out."

But it was o.k., because my mom gave him "The Look" to which my dad responded:

"Oh hell, I guess I need to move those bales."

But it was all o.k. Or so we thought...I guess he suspected something because at some point my brother said to my son "Do they think I'm stupid?"

So I decided to ride back to his house with him to celebrate with my other sister *wink* *wink* and it's all good.

We walk in and he's surprised and all his friends were there...it was a great party.

My sister and I asked him if he had any idea and he says:

"Well, I knew SOMETHING was up. I though maybe she bought me a big screen t.v......but this is good too."

So, my sister-in-law gets lots of points for pulling it off, but the first thing SHE said once we got there was "I'm never doing this again."

Caps

2008-12-01T14:13:00.003-06:00

Over here --------------------------------------------------->
is a nifty little icon about insurance caps. Specifically, the push to have congress enact legislation requiring health insurers to raise lifetime insurance caps.

What has happened is that as health care costs have risen exponentially, insurance caps have not. I would venture a guess that the vast majority of individuals who have insurance have no idea what their lifetime cap is. Many HMOs, PPOs, and QCPs don't have a cap at all. But this can change. Our original policy up in Oshkosh had no cap. Because of changes, a cap of $2,000,000 was implemented. Of course, this seems like a lotta dough. Unfortunately, it's not. And most won't know it's not enough until it's too late.

This is not a bleeding disorders issue, but the bleeding disorders community has been very active in pursuing legislation to assist individuals affected by the issue.

What is unique about the chronic disease community is that we must live with this issue throughout out lives. Many others become ill, receive treatment/hospitalization, get better and then are left paying the bills. Not so for us. Not only do my husband and I always have this on our minds, our boys will have to deal with the issue. We do not have the ability to declare bankruptcy and start from scratch...my kids will always have these bills.

Insurance caps do not change based on increases in inflation, cost of living or new and expensive therapies. In fact, it's quite common for an insurance company to sort of 'encourage' consumers to cap-out on a policy so that the individual is no longer on a policy.

Here's an article about a family who learned about the issue all too quickly.

When our own insurance company implemented a cap, my husband went to his employer's benefit fair and asked the specialists what would be offered for those who hit their cap. The reps said "Oh, gosh, that doesn't happen. You know it's $2M, right?" He chuckled and walked away. $2M seems like a nice chunk of change. Ultimately, we chose to move back to Illinois because we knew that we'd hit that cap when the boys were in high school and then what? Illinois has a much better safety net for those in the high risk category; additionally, our current plan has no lifetime cap.

Of course, the bigger issue is that health care costs are out of whack. Many of the drugs used to treat chronic, rare disorders have "orphan drug" status. This means that the condition effects so few individuals that developing new drugs isn't very lucrative. Therefore, to encourage research and development of these very specialized drugs, the FDA has special regulations. Essentially, the companies that develop these drugs are given tax reductions and marketing exclusivity so that they will continue the research.

The Orphan Drug Act (ODA) has been instrumental in the development of new and innovative therapies, but it's a double edged sword. These companies have a monopoly on their therapies and are able to set prices for said therapies quite high. A Catch-22.

So, what's a family like mine to do? We have to have these drugs...they keep my kids alive. The average life expectancy of a person with hemophilia prior to the development of these drugs was somewhere in the mid-twenties. Now it's virtually the same as non-hemos. But the cost of the drugs is outrageous. I don't begrudge Pharma for wanting to profit on an otherwise relatively unprofitable therapy, but something has to give.

Our current system is not adequately meeting the needs of individuals living with a chronic illness or those who face a catastrophic illness. In the end, by not raising insurance caps, everyone suffers.

I encourage everyone to pull out their certificates of coverage and find out what your lifetime cap is. If you can't find it in the literature that you've been provided by your insurance company, call 'em and ask 'em!

For those of you who don't HAVE insurance, this kind of reform is a step towards getting adequate coverage for all.

2008-11-27T10:22:00.002-06:00

I copied too!

Things I've Done

1. Started your own blog - You're lookin' at it.

2. Slept under the stars - several times

3. Played in a band - if high school concert, marching, jazz and pep band count.

4. Visited Hawaii - no...not much interest in it either, although I wouldn't turn down a free trip.

5. Watched a meteor shower - yes

6. Given more than you can afford to charity - I've given my time to the Hemophilia community, but never had enough $$ to spare.

7. Been to Disneyland - a few times

8. Climbed a mountain - of paperwork

9. Held a praying mantis - not till we moved back to Illinois where it's a little warmer.

10. Sang a solo - not on purpose

11. Bungee jumped - no

12. Visited Paris - no

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea - I watch Deadliest Catch sometimes...does that count?

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch - yes, I taught myself how to knit

15. Adopted a child - Not yet...Mr. Rix says we have to wait till the boys are grown. We've adopted several animals, though, and they're like our children.

16. Had food poisoning - no

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - No, but we took the ferry to see it.

18. Grown your own vegetables - yes, I've had many, many gardens

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - no

20. Slept on an overnight train - no, I've slept on a train, but it wasn't overnight.

21. Had a pillow fight - Yes...just like she said, that's what chicks do when we hang out.

22. Hitch hiked - no!

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - Yes...but not while at my current job!

24. Built a snow fort - Many; I love the way it sounds inside a snow fort...all muffled and still.

25. Held a lamb - no...unless a lamp chop counts.

26. Gone skinny dipping - Yes

27. Run a Marathon - My husband says I run them in my sleep.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - Nope. But when we first moved here, our Realtor told us we had to check out the Gondolas at Avanti's. So we went to eat and I looked all over for boats in the place. I didn't know it was a freakin' sub sandwich.

29. Seen a total eclipse - Yes in 6th grade through one of those pinhole box things

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset - yes

31. Hit a home run - Oh yes! I was All-Conference and Captain of my High School softball team!

32. Been on a cruise - No...too many people. I hate people.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - No

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - If Beecher City, IL and Shelbyville, IL count, then yes.

35. Seen an Amish community - Yes

36. Taught yourself a new language - yes, sign language...took 2 more semesters of it in College (my degree is Deaf Education)

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - I think we're there right now...I'm learning to be satisfied with what I have...not what I don't have. Bills are paid, food in the fridge, roof over head...all good.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - no

39. Gone rock climbing - no

40. Seen Michelangelo's David - No...but Mr. Rix is pretty close!

41. Sung karaoke - yes...not very well.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - No

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant - Not officially, but I do this when I travel.

44. Visited Africa - no

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight - yes...both oceans, and several lakes

46. Been transported in an ambulance - yes...that is totally a story is for another blog.

47. Had your portrait painted - No, unless my kids' renditions count.

48. Gone deep sea fishing - no

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - no

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - no

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - in my friend's pond

52. Kissed in the rain - yes

53. Played in the mud - yes

54. Gone to a drive-in theater - oh yes! As a kid and as an adult.

55. Been in a movie - Not anything I'd want anyone to see.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China - no

57. Started a business - no

58. Studied a martial art - no

59. Visited Russia - no

60. Served at a soup kitchen - no

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - a couple times.

62. Gone whale watching - no...wait, does hitting the local pool count? Or looking at myself in the mirror?

63. Got flowers for no reason - a couple times...but I don't like receiving cut flowers. They die.

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - Not for about 12 years...they don't want mine, it's missing some Factor 9.

65. Gone sky diving - no

66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp - no

67. Bounced a check - once or twice

68. Flown in a helicopter - no

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - yes...Snoopy's on my bookshelf right now.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - Yes

71. Eaten caviar - bleh...no.

72. Pieced a quilt - Yes, I made Mr. Rix a quilt from all his 90's grunge-era flannels and backed it with the flannel sheet that was on his bed when we met.

73. Stood in Times Square - Yes

74. Toured the Everglades - no

75. Been fired from a job - No, but I told one boss to get fucked and walked out.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - no

77. Broken a bone - my arm and a finger...the finger's still crooked

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - Yes...I love it! Mr. Rix is going to get a Harely in the next couple years and we're looking forward to touring when the boys are grown.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - Yes

80. Published a book - No, but my 'anecdotes' have appeared in a published book.

81. Visited the Vatican - no

82. Bought a brand new car - 1990 Plymouth Laser...bit mistake, I'll never buy a brand new car again.

83. Walked in Jerusalem - no

84. Had your picture in the newspaper - Yes, a couple times.

85. Read the entire Bible - no

86. Visited the White House - Yes

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - no

88. Had chickenpox - Yes - in high school!

89. Saved someone’s life - Hmmm....no.

90. Sat on a jury - no, but I was called for Jury Duty twice.

91. Met someone famous - Vince Neil, David Hasselhoff....that's all I can remember now.

92. Joined a book club - just recently...and I have the book for our next meeting, too!

93. Lost a loved one - yes

94. Had a baby - two

95. Seen the Alamo in person - no

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - no, I've seen it though.

97. Been involved in a law suit - no

98. Owned a cell phone - yes.

99. Been stung by a bee - once

100. Read an entire book in one day - Oh yes...not for a while, but I love doing that. Especially on a cold rainy day.

He Was Right

2008-11-25T19:27:00.004-06:00

A good friend recently expressed some mild dissatisfaction about people who write checks at the store.

His voice was ringing in my ear while at the grocery store today.

My plan was to go right after school so as to avoid the rush. Not so much on the avoiding the rush.

But I found everything and as I was waiting in line, I wrote out my check with everything but the dollar amount lest the folks behind me share the opinion of Mr. Malaise.

Then it happens. Cashier lady inserts my check so it can be stamped or whatever in the slidy-inny-outy thing.

And my check disappears. It's just gone.

The cashier looks everywhere, lifts the lid, looks on the ground...looks everywhere. No check.

Then she looks at me and asks me if it's in my purse. Um yeah. I'm really Mrs. David Blain and made the check fly back in my purse.

Meanwhile, there's a lady behind me in line and the cashier asks HER if she saw the check. No, lady behind me isn't Criss Angel...SHE didn't have the check either. The old man behind HER in line is starting to get pissy because his peppermint ice cream is melting.

Cashier lady calls head cashier lady over. Still no check. She showed up with canned duster (I was waiting for her to pull an Intervention-Duster-Huffer-Lady thing but she didn't) she sprayed that in the machine. My check still didn't appear.

It was very perplexing.

Finally, my receipt was retrieved. I let them know that I was going to leave...they had my check, my work was done.

I got a call 2 hours later that they'd found my check in the machine but it was mangled. Could I come write another one? And, for my trouble, there would be a $10 gift card waiting for me.

Sweet.

So, I went over, wrote a new check, grabbed my gift card and some beer and went to check out.

Except the gift card didn't work. So 14 cashier/manager type people had to come over. And the bag boy gave some input, too.

Then the big question. Would I mind writing a check and they'd just give me $10.00??

Yeah, like I was going to fall for THAT again.

Latest and Greatest

2008-11-24T09:51:00.002-06:00

Finally Redbox has made it's way to East Peoria.

What is Redbox? Well it's one of those ideas that makes you go "DOH! I can't believe I didn't think of it!"

It's a movie rental service....totally self service! You sign up for an account online using a credit card/debit card. Locate a nearby Redbox that has your movie and reserve it. When you get to the location, it's like vending machine/kiosk. Swipe the card you used to reserve the movie and the movie is dispensed. You can return the movie to the location you picked it up at OR at any other RedBox location.

Best part? It's $1.00. If you end up keep it an extra day, it's just another $1.00.

So you can pick up a movie locally, take it on the road and drop it off at your destination.

Very cool.

My folks and siblings have been using RedBox all summer. I'm pretty stoked it's made it's way here. Most of the boxes are located at Wal-Marts or grocery stores. I've heard that they also have them at some McDonald's.

O.K.

2008-11-22T19:40:00.001-06:00

I have the best husband in the world. Sometimes I forget.

He's folding laundry right now. He just folded a towel.

Me: "You're folding that the wrong way."

He:

Me: "Fold it long ways"

He:

Me: "Nevermind."

He: "O.K."

One of Our Own

2008-11-21T15:49:00.005-06:00

I'm thrilled that Val Bias is the new Chief Executive Officer of the National Hemophilia Foundation. It's truly a momentous occasion. As far as I can tell, Val is the first CEO who is actually affected by Hemophilia. I've met and worked with him on a committee or two here and there...even better he has Hemophilia B!

I wish that I had been able to see Mr. Bias' opening remarks at last week's NHF Annual Meeting, but my trip didn't allow. I have been reading and listening to what other leaders in the community are saying about his appointment and I feel confident and excited that Val will facilitate a new dialog among the various agencies that serve our community.

The Bleeding Disorders community has a long history of advocacy. Unfortunately, the blood scandal of the 80's and early 90's tore our community apart. There is much blame and fault to go around....why didn't our advocacy agencies protect us? Where were the checks and balances between the FDA, NIH, NHF and pharma? It's been difficult to unify the community.

The community has been fractured for many years with less than clear vision and direction. Val Bias has been a relentless advocate for the community and brings something new to the position of CEO - a personal stake in how the agency moves forward.

Congratulations, Val. Now the rest of the Bleeding Disorders community will know what we've been saying for years....Factor 9's rock!

I Do Lerv My Job

2008-11-18T18:46:00.003-06:00

This week is National Homelessness and Hunger week. There was a story in our local newspaper about homeless teens. It was a nice article that briefly touched on the issues facing those kids.

Kids who have been "kicked out" of the house by their parents are technically called "unaccompanied minors" rather than truly homeless.

We have a few of those. Kids whose parents tell them to get out, or whose parents move to another town to be with a boyfriend/girlfriend and leave the child behind.

Well, we've been talking about this in one of my classes; I shared the article from the local paper and had the kids react and respond. Every student in my class either knows someone in that situation or is him/herself in that situation. It was a really awesome discussion.

One of my kids is currently in foster care (with a great family) because the parents were not able to take care of the kids...the meth lab in the basement sorta got in the way.

Another student has been bouncing around with siblings and mom between grandparents/aunts and friends.

It's an issue that hits very, very close to home for them.

But their responses to the issue were pretty cool. They all wondered what THEY could do to help people in these situations. They expressed frustration because they couldn't do more to help their peers.

These are students who are either IN this situation or very close to it themselves. Yet, their initial response was to wonder how they could help others...not how they could get help themselves.

These are students who have made really bad choices but they still have the capacity to see that others are worse off; others who need their help.

I love the days when I learn from them. They've got a lot more to teach me than I could teach them.

Busted

2008-11-17T19:25:00.006-06:00

Last week I spent a few days in Denver for a meeting. Since I can't come home empty handed, I found a couple little things for the boys and stuffed them into my carry-on.

I always check a bag because I never remember to buy tiny bottles of my shampoo and crap so I can't get them through security.

When we travel with the boys, though, we have a bag of only medical supplies...needles (of several sizes), syringes (ditto), a sharps container, tourniquets and the like. Despite carrying all that through security (send $10K worth of medicine and supplies under the plane? No.), we've never been stopped or pulled to the side. We always travel with a letter explaining why we have all that crap but security has never asked to see it. I just say "This bag has meds and supplies" and that's enough.

This time, though, I was not so fortunate.

I have to say that the Denver airport people are awesome. They are always so friendly! I got stopped at security. They looked and looked at my bag...then asked me to step to the side.

The X-ray lady pulled my souvenirs out of my bag - I told her they were for my kids. She said she'd have to call her supervisor over and check with him.

We met at the little metal table at the end of the line and I went to put my purse on it...he says "STEP BACK, NO HANDS BETWEEN HERE AND HERE" so, I stepped back...QUICKLY! Then he cracked up laughing and security lady scolded him for teasing me.

Security man looks at the souvenirs and says he's going to have to ask HIS supervisor about them. So, we stand and wait.

Nope. Can't take them on the plane. I CAN go ask for my luggage to be pulled and put them there.

So, I traipse back UP to the ticketing agents who tell me my best bet is to go to baggage claim to have my bag pulled.

So, I traipse DOWN to baggage claim and tell my tale. The nice man there decides that the best bet is to put my souvenirs in a box, check the box and pick it up once in Peoria. Cool. He doesn't even charge me the additional $15 for an extra checked item.

So, I traipse back UP to the ticket counter and back DOWN the other side to security. But all is well. The boys' souvenirs will make their way to Peoria.

Whew.

What could I possible have purchased my children that would cause such a ruckus?

The best, though, was when the security lady noticed my book. She asked me what it was about...I said "It's a murder mystery about a lady who goes on a killing spree on an airplane with a slingshot."

Thank goodness they had a sense of humor!

2008-11-14T15:33:00.002-06:00

I done been meme'd by a couple folks. Since I'm totally a "I have to be like everyone else" kinda gal, I thought I'd play along.

Here are the rules:

- List six things that make you happy
- Pass the award on to 6 more kreativ bloggers
- Link back to the person who gave you the award
- Link to the people you are passing it on to and leave them a comment to let them know.

I just got back from a quick but busy trip to Denver so my list is going to be a little tainted.

6. Deodorant. Yes, deodorant makes me happy. And I would not have known how happy it makes me if I didn't have the good fortune of being on a small plane with someone who obviously wasn't wearing any.

5. A variety of socks/shoes. I had 3 pair of socks in my suitcase, but I didn't realize in my haste of packing at the ass crack of dawn that I chose 3 pair that I hate, therefore, I spent 3 days walking all over the Mile High City in socks that didn't feel right or that kept slipping down. And the one pair of shoes I took were really cute and comfortable...the first day. (BTW, if I walk 1 mile in the Mile High City shouldn't that count as 2?)

4. Peanut Butter. I went 3 days without peanut butter. Peanut butter makes me happy; three days without peanut butter makes me unhappy.

3. The internets. My friends live in the internets. My hotel didn't have free wi-fi and I was busy those three days. I didn't have my internets (or my friends!).

2. My boys. I'm such a sucker. I called home a bunch of times just so I could hear their voices. #2 asked me to wake him up when I got home because he wanted to see me. Of course, I woke him up and he just grumbled at me. I think that's his way of saying I love you.

1. My husband.

I'm not going to pass this one because I think just about all my friends over there --------> have already participated!

Happy Birthday!

2008-11-09T09:35:00.005-06:00

PeoriaSpeaks!

One year ago, a new forum was established. It sounds dorky, I know. But see, there already was a local forum in Peoria; however, quite a few people found the tone and tenor of that one really nasty. That other forum, Peoria.com, is an online forum that is not at all affiliated with the City of Peoria or any other local Peoria outlet. In fact, the owner lives in Texas. He sells advertising on his website. It's a marketing endeavor for him.

As with any online forum/chatroom/mailing list, there are moderators...playground supervisors, if you will. Their job is to make sure everyone plays fair. Notice I didn't say plays NICE. After all, we ARE grown ups. Unfortunately, egos and personal agendas sorta took over at the other place and it became obvious that an alternative was needed.

Fortunately, an alternative was created. PeoriaSpeaks.com (PS) is a local internet forum truly representative of this area of Illinois. Anyone familiar with the local "Blog Scene" would recognize our members. Almost all of the regular contributors are local bloggers. PS members are actually FROM the greater Peoria, IL area. We aren't from Texas, Michigan or Pennsylvania; we live here, we have a personal stake in seeing our community represented in a positive light.

I know that there are some people who will read this and wonder what in the hell I'm blathering on about. And there are other people who will know exactly what's up. I know it's the internets. I know it's not really real, but the people I've met through PeoriaSpeaks have become part of my family. When we moved here and I was trying to assimilate to my new community, these people came through.

Last night we had a birthday party for PS. It was great to meet up with everyone. It's a shame that there are still individuals who would say nasty things about my friends at PeoriaSpeaks. It's not a competition. PeoriaSpeaks does not sell advertising. Our moderators don't advertise their businesses on the site. There have been times when our moderators have had to eliminate members in an effort to maintain the integrity of the forum.

If you read this and you live in the Peoria area, take a gander at PeoriaSpeaks.com. It truly is the heart and soul of Peoria, IL.

Not Right

2008-11-09T00:26:00.002-06:00

As I sit and work on some profound post about the election, my husband has discovered "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".

His maniacal laughter is really pissing me off.

Except they are doing home Botox. And I'm sort of intrigued with the concept.

Open Season

2008-11-03T17:32:00.004-06:00

It's that time of year again! Open Enrollment! This is the time when employers let their employees in on benefits changes and when insurance companies let us all know what changes will take effect at the start of the new year.

Mr. Rix received his benefits stuff in the mail last week. Our insurance provider was sold to a much larger, national insurance provider. We've been anxiously waiting to see how things would shake out.

The preliminary stuff looks good. Our portion of the premium is going up less than $20 per month.

No lifetime cap has been implemented, nor are there any new deductibles.

The cap stuff is a big relief. An insurance company won't implement a cap mid-year...they have to wait till the NEXT open enrollment. So, we've got another year good to go. Which, might not seem like a big deal, but it is. When a cap IS implemented (and it will) this one year will be about $250K NOT applied towards it.

We haven't received any information about the formulary and/or drug tiers. That will be the next big one. Since they haven't implemented a cap or deductibles, I'm thinking they'll be bumping up co-pays. As such, Mr. Rix upped his contributions to his MSA (Medical Savings Account) to the maximum. We'll either end up spending it on co-pays or braces for #2.

We haven't found out if we will be able to purchase factor somewhere other than our Hemophilia Treatment Center yet, though. And I'm really hoping that we will be able to. The only way they are going to improve some of their practices is if consumers can hit them in the pocket book. If I have the ability to take my 100K+ business elsewhere, perhaps they will be receptive to patient concerns.

And we also don't know if we'll be able to take the boys to a different hematologist. Which, ultimately, is what we'd like to do. For now, our doc is the only game in town.

So, while my hunting friends will soon be enjoying open deer season, we've already bagged a few bucks.

Ick

2008-11-01T19:32:00.003-05:00

So, I'm sitting outside enjoying the evening, the stars, the crisp air. And so are my neighbors. Not the next door neighbors, the yard or two away neighbors. They like to sit outside and listen to shitty music and drink Coors. Which is just fine. They are nice people.

Except the gentleman's voice carries more than I'm sure he's aware of. As a result, I sometimes hear some interesting things.

Tonight takes the cake.

It seems my neighbor is not fond of...um...how to put this? "Scuba" diving?

And not only did I learn that it's not his favorite. I learned why. I am not happy that I now know he especially hates scuba diving in a fur coat. He'd prefer a wet suit.

I know you're asking why I'd continue to sit outside...well, I was on the phone.

And then I heard about the quality of his snorkel, how well it's been working lately, how much swimming he's been doing lately....

Goodness.

Um.

2008-10-30T22:52:00.002-05:00

One of the best parts of my job is that I get to laugh at kids. It makes up for a lot of the stuff that is really sad.

Today a young man showed up in full Halloween regalia. Face painted...hair spray-colored...the whole 9-yards.

Except it was October 30th.

Not Halloween.

Several of my students had asked if they had to come to school on Halloween...as though it was some sort of National Holiday. Um. No.

The young man in question happened to be "sick" yesterday and missed the memo that the Halloween celebration was to be held on Friday.

When his classmate's questioned him about his choice to paint his face a day early, he shared that "I did it today because I won't have time tomorrow."

When asked why he wouldn't have time tomorrow he replied "It'll be Halloween".

Ultimately, he chose to wash his face paint.

But he'd also brought treats for his classmates. Teddy Grahams.

What a sweet boy.

Things They Left Out

2008-10-30T20:25:00.006-05:00

We read all the books.

We've gone to all the conferences.

We've learned a lot.

But there are still a couple things we don't know.

For example:

You know how you suck the bottle and make it stick on your face...the whole suction thing?

Yeah. Hemo's bruise when they do that.

And yes, you can laugh. It's pretty sad. In a poor, sick, hemophiliac kid sort of way. (He's been sitting with an ice pack on his face all evening...his Halloween costume doesn't call for a weird purple mustache and he's way bummed out.)

Enough

2008-10-29T09:38:00.003-05:00

So, I know yesterday I said I was tired of this election bullshit. And it's not getting better. Especially now that my kids are being subjected to ridiculosity.

#2 (the younger - in 5th grade)came home from school yesterday and said that some kid got him "out" in four-square and then taunted him with "that's what you get, you Obama-lover!" The same kid pulled the same shit on the school bus. Along with "Why do you like Obama, he's just going to get shot." What the hell? My son also said "Mom, _____ said that Obama wants to kill babies." Nice.

#1 says that in social studies (7th grade) the teacher had the kids take a survey to see whose beliefs they were more closely aligned with. But the questions were phrased with a clear conservative bias. For example "Do you think Bush's tax cuts should be left alone or should taxes be raised?" and "Do you believe we are winning the war in Iraq or should we quit and bring our troops home?"

Thank goodness #1 had the good sense to tell the teacher that he thought the questions weren't very fair and that they didn't explain the candidates positions very well. I'm guessing he didn't get a very good daily grade.

Yes, my husband and I are liberal. But we don't sit at the dining room table and talk about how awful the other side is. If our kids say something nasty about McCain, we remind them that he served in the military and that he's a good man, we just disagree with him.

If 10 and 12 year olds are talking this way, it's no wonder there's such divisiveness among adults. It's truly disturbing.